Check in

The 7th anniversary of my final chemo treatment passed by on Aug 5, 2018. Not sure if anyone sees this blog anymore, but it is a work in progress, as I am. I made the decision to retire earlier than I had originally planned and I am so happy I did. I am living full time in our Washington home and it is absolutely beautiful here. Deer come by every evening and a wild turkey flock comes by regularly. We had up to 8 chickens but the coyotes seemed to need them more than we did. So we have replaced the lost ones and are once again at 8. We have 3 laying hens, 4 chicks, and a rooster. All 12 dogs are here with us. They have had some adjusting to do since arriving and this winter will bring many more adjustments. The lone cat hangs out downstairs. I spend my days sewing, playing music and reading. All of the hobbies I love. We started going to the American Legion on Friday nights so I may play music with others in a fun jam session type setting. I've been taking some sewing classes and actually completing some projects. I started a Quilts of Valor group here that is sponsored by the American Legion Auxiliary. I anticipate awarding our first quilts this year on Veteran's Day. Although my favorite season, summer, is quickly turning to fall, I find myself looking forward to spending my days warm and cozy in my studio or in the library. I am closely guarding my time and continue to be cautious, so I do not become overwhelmed with too many activities. I think I will look into taking piano and stand up bass lessons this winter, when most of my days will be indoors. In exchange, I won't be taking any sewing classes. Balance, balance, balance. Still not giving enough energy to taking care of my body. But I think as I become more accustomed to retired life, I will make time for exercise and meditation. Both are very important for that balance. I will be going to CA next week for the President's Challenge at the quilt guild in which I am currently co president. I'll be going back down to CA the end of November for the Home Tour, PNQG Christmas party, and the Cut Ups Christmas party. This will be my final tenure as co president. Then it will probably be some time before I leave WA again. I am content and satisfied with my life. I have accomplished many goals and still have just as many to look forward to experiencing. I now have the opportunity to really listen and hear what calls to me. I never take any day for granted and I am beyond grateful for having my health. so I may enjoy all of the abundance the Universe has to offer. Hugs!

August 5 marks the 6th anniversary of my last chemo treatment. Since my last post I have made many changes to my life. I was the school counselor and then two years ago I took on the position of principal at the same school. It was a grueling year and I kept asking myself if I wasn't doing exactly what I had done before I became sick. The planets aligned and the Universe came to my rescue. This is my second year teaching students with mild learning disabilities. I have very small groups, no behavior issues with the students, get to make my own schedule, and have a significant amount of time off. My husband and I bought a house in WA and in three years I plan to retire and move there full time. I have embarked on another musical journey and meet with my band mates weekly to rehearse. We had our first gig a couple of weeks ago. I am currently the president of my quilt guild and I am back to sewing regularly. I'm also back in school myself, taking a couple of music classes and a psych class. It has taken me a long time to realize that if it ain't fun, it ain't worth doing. I have learned to say no and recognize when I am at capacity with taking on new projects. I hold dear the fact that life is a gift and I try to live each day in mindful recognition of that. I strive to maintain balance between the physical, mental, creative, relational, intellectual, and spiritual aspects. The area I tend to leave out the most is the physical. It is a challenge for me to make time to honor my body, as I am mostly in my head. It is an area that I must work on as I know first hand what happens when the body fails to heal. I feel very at peace with everything else in my life. I am grateful each day to wake up to explore and experience a new day. I am grateful for all of my friends and family. Life is good!

December 23, 2015

Wow, time sure does go by in the blink of an eye! It has been about 3 years since I last posted on this blog. I just had my CA-125 on Monday and it was 11.5. Today is the fifth anniversary of being diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I am healthy and so grateful for all of the amazing experiences I have had the opportunity to enjoy. Shannon and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary in July. We have been on several cruises. I was promoted to Principal of my school site in August and that has been an amazing challenge. Each and every day is treasured and cherished. Last January I wrote a list of 100 things I wanted to accomplish or experience and in 2015 I saw six of these come to fruition. Looking forward to seeing what unfolds in 2016, while practicing staying in the moment. Hugs to all!

Thursday October 25, 2012

I know it has been a while since my last post. Things have been just humming along nicely. I am still totally in love with my job, I am playing bass and singing again in the Mojave Moon Band, and I’m continuing to widen my quilting horizons. My CA-125 continues to be normal and life has been amazing.

However over the past year I had developed a gallstone and I had been having occasional symptoms. I felt burning pain in my mid chest, radiating to my back. Sometimes it would keep me up all night. It was extremely painful. In the week before Wed Oct 18 I had two such bouts. On Wed Oct 18 I had an exceptionally severe one and I was in pain all night. I went to work Thursday morning to help with the Great American ShakeOut but then left for the emergency room at St. Mary’s. Lindsay met me there. They did an ultrasound and found multiple gallstones. There was some concern that the radiologist saw a shadow on the liver. I had a CT scan with contrast and no stones showed in the duct. Also the radiologist did not see anything on the liver.

The pain continued and they wanted to make sure no stones had become lodged in the duct. So on Friday I had an MRI. I had been feeling very sick to my stomach the whole time. Not enough to actually need to throw up, but severe enough that I could not eat anything. The MRI was horrible. I was afraid that I would get into that tube and start to throw up and that they wouldn’t get me out fast enough. I was kind of strapped into a lacy metal contraption, and along with the tight tube, my claustrophobia reared its ugly head. There was no way I was going to be able to do it. They were going to send me back up to the room for meds, but the nurse called Lindsay, who was having dinner with Betty and Shannon across the street, and she came back. She told me I had to do it. So she stood outside the tube, holding my hands with my arms over my head and with that support I made it through. Lindsay saved the day once again.

It appeared that there were no stones in the duct, so I was scheduled for surgery the following morning, Sat, at 7am. The surgeon was going to try to remove the gallbladder the laparoscopic method, however due to my previous surgery last year that might not have been possible.  They might have to do an open surgery which would be much more invasive. He was also going to look at the liver to determine if he needed to take a liver biopsy.

They were able to do the laparoscopic method, although the surgeon said that it was very difficult to do. He said he did not see anything on the liver so no biopsy was taken. I still had not taken in any food by mouth. I slept most of Saturday while Betty and Shannon read electronic books.

On Sunday the surgeon came in to take out the drain and I nearly went through each ceiling on my way through the roof. They said they would not release me until I could eat. So I significantly reduced the pain meds and by Sunday night I could eat a few pears. I ate half a piece of French toast on Monday morning, and then Lindsay brought a 6” Subway tuna sandwich to me for lunch. I ate about a third of that. And I ate oyster crackers. I was past ready to come home.

They released me Monday Oct 23 around 5pm. The ride home on the dirt roads was much easier this time after surgery. Last year’s surgery was worse by many levels. Tuesday I pretty much rested all day. I read a book. Wednesday I did a little light housework and then when Shannon came home from work, we went out to the Saloon so I could practice for an hour. Today I’m feeling even stronger. I have plans to do more light housework and even some sewing. We will go out to the Saloon for another hour tonight when Shannon gets home. I am off work until Monday. I was supposed to be attending a conference that I had been looking forward to since summer vacation, but I had to cancel that. I’m disappointed but realize that “life happens”.

I go tomorrow to the surgeon to get the staples out. Then I know I need to give my body time to heal and revive. I still have to meet with my primary care doc when he gets all of the results of the tests to determine if I still need a liver biopsy. Since only one of the three tests indicated a problem and the surgeon did not see anything I will let that worry rest.

I’m not the kind of person who likes to have visitors when I’m sick. I kind of insulate myself to concentrate on the task of healing. I’m grateful for Shannon, Lindsay, and Betty being there and for all of those friends and family who kept me in there prayers. I know many people wanted to come by and see me and I really appreciate that concern. Please know that.

Big hugs to you all!

 

 

Tuesday June 26, 2012

Hello!

I went to my surgeon yesterday for my 3 month checkup and all is well. My CA-125 from May 22 was 10.3 so everything is just right on the health front.

I attended my Ph.D. graduation on June 16 with my daughter Lindsay, son Wes, granddaughter Taylor, and husband, Shannon. I presented my paper to ITP on Friday June 15. Difficult to pare down 2 years of work and over 100 pages into a 15 min presentation, but I feel it went well. It was a whirlwind weekend that started and ended with the 7 hour drive up and back. I was so grateful for my family being there.

My last post mentioned that I had won one ribbon at the fair, but I didn’t know at that time about any others. Turns out I won two second place and two third place ribbons. So four out of the six quilts I entered, placed. I was really amazed and happy about that!

Mojave Moon is still rehearsing and getting better all the time. We have a great group and have become good friends as well as band mates. I try to practice at least three to four times a week. After this week, I’ll be able to bump that up to daily practice.

I haven’t done much sewing lately, but that will also change after this week. I want to sew, play music, read, meditate and go to the gym as my daily schedule starting next week. This is the first summer break in 6 years that I do not have any papers due or books to read. I am looking forward to concentrating on my creative, spiritual, and physical aspects for a change. Time to get out of the mental/intellectual part.

Hugs to you all!

Dr. Dar. J

Hi All!

I see it has been a few months since I last posted so I thought I’d give an update. -

On the heath front, all is well! I had my last CA-125 a week ago and it is holding steady at 10.3. I feel great, have lots of energy, and life is GOOD.

I received the following today…

Dear Darlene Packard-Mossman, Congratulations. Your submission, 10180 has cleared all of the necessary checks and will soon be delivered to ProQuest/UMI for publishing. In addition, all requirements of the ITP Dissertation Office have been fulfilled and the registrar has been notified of your completion. Regards, Institute of Transpersonal Psychology Administrator -

So I am COMPLETELY and TOTALLY FINISHED with the dissertation and I am officially Dr. Dar. I go in two weeks for graduation to put the icing on the cake. If anyone is interested in reading it, I’d be happy to email it to you. I’m sure it will be riveting and the best 118 pages you will ever enjoy! :)

I entered six quilts into the San Bernardino County Fair this year. Cristy went last weekend and found that I had received a 2nd place on one, but she could not find the other five. I’ll be going to the fair on Sunday so I’ll let you know if there are any other surprises. It has always been a feeling of such satisfaction to even enter my quilts into the fair. And to win a ribbon is such a shock every year. But it is nice to know that my quilting skills are evolving to the point that ribbons are awarded. I know I am up against some tough competition every year.

Our band, Mojave Moon, is still practicing weekly. We have a good group and it is really coming together. I am having a blast playing bass guitar again. Now that the Ph.D. is finished, I want to spend some time relearning how to read music. It has been a while but I know with some time it will come back to me. We have our first official gig at a club called Poison Ivy in Glen Ivy on July 7. Then we will be at Froggies in Apple Valley on Friday July 27th. We have a website started mojavemoonband.com so check it out for more details of upcoming events.

I am still totally in love with my job. Every day is a joy and I am grateful for each moment.

So all in all, my life is AWESOME! I just celbrated my 55th birthday yesterday. I’m looking forward to seeing what delights this next year will bring. I’ll keep you all posted.

Hugs! Dr. Dar

Thursday February 16, 2012

Hi everyone! I just wanted to enter an update. Every month I go to have my porta cath flushed, which means they inject saline solution into it to make sure it doesn’t clot. They drew blood also and yesterday I got the results that my CA-125 was 10.6!!! That is the lowest it has ever been! I see the oncologist today for my 3 month visit. Then I have my 3 month visit to the surgeon on March 5. I’m still a bit anemic with my hemoglobin at 11.1 (normal is 12-14) but I feel that I have lots of energy. In fact, Shannon gave me a pair of turtle earrings as a reminder to slow down. I still have the neuropathy in my feet but I’m taking medication that seems to help it a bit. My toes are still numb but the bottoms of my feet are better.

On the dissertation front….my mentor/Chair has the first four chapters and has completed his review of the first three with very few editing comments. I know I have a few more pieces to add to the literature review (Chapter 2) but that will be very minor. This upcoming 3 day weekend, I plan to get those first four chapters completed and off to the editor on Tuesday. Then I will work on Chapter 5. I’m hoping that by the end of March I should be able to plan the date for my defense with my whole committee. After that, there are just administrational tasks to get the dissertation published. I plan to “walk” and publically receive my Ph.D. in Psychology on June 17, 2012. It has been a long journey and such an amazing learning experience. I am really glad I did this.

Our band finally has a name! We are officially “Mojave Moon”. We have a website…Mojavemoonband.com. Of course, there isn’t much there now, but we (meaning Shannon) will eventually be adding info, pictures, and upcoming gigs. We have our first gig already planned…we are playing for the entire 8th grade student body at our middle school. That will probably be our toughest crowd. So we are rehearsing weekly to prepare for that one and then in April we should be ready to start booking. I am taking weekly bass lessons and learning so much. I played bass for many years but never fully understood the whole instrument. Now I’m learning that there is a reason for the bass having more than the first two strings! :)

I have been completing quilting projects. I finally finished Betty’s tote bag that was her Christmas present and gave it to her last weekend. I have the binding machine sewn onto Cory’s quilt…just need to do the hand sewing. I have coffee cup blocks that I started for my friendship group the “Cut Ups” so I need to get them finished before next Wednesday. I turned in a UFO (unfinished objects) list for the President’s Challenge at my quilt guild (Pine Needles Quilt Guild) with 25 projects to complete. Yikes! But once the dissertation is completed, I can get most of these projects completed by the challenge deadline of October.

I am still totally in love with my job. Every day is a new experience and I love working with the students one at a time. I never have to do discipline and I get to encourage, motivate, and inspire students each day. It is so rewarding! There is never enough time to get to all of the things I want to do though. I have intentions of setting up a career center, going into classrooms and giving social skills/career/high school A-G requirements lessons, and starting a gay/straight alliance on our campus. But I realize I will not be able to accomplish all of these things this year. We will be having Career Day on May 30 where I will be inviting people in a variety of occupations to present to the students. If there is anyone who reads this who would like to talk about their career to 7/8 grade students, please let me know. :)

I think that is all for now. I will try to update this blog monthly.
Hugs to everyone!
Dar