Today is a very good day! Went to the oncologist’s office and got the results from the PET scan. I am completely cancer free!!! No more chemo!!! I’ll have to have my blood checked every couple of months and I’ll have to get the porta cath flushed every month. But that is such a minor thing. I go to see the surgeon next Monday for a follow-up appointment. I just have to keep up the healthy eating, meditation, and begin some kind of exercise. My feet and toes are still numb but I can start by doing some floor work. I’d like to start Yoga or Tai Chi but first I need to build up muscle strength. Small steps. A new gallstone was found on the scan and I have had three episodes of those symptoms. I’m going to check with the UCI surgeon on Monday to see if there are other treatments besides surgery. But if I have to have it out, it is an outpatient procedure and I can have it done over one of the holiday breaks.
I absolutely love my new job. Every day is something new. I look forward to going to work with lots of positive anticipation. I know this is the work I was meant to do.
On the dissertation front…I have one participant ready to interview. I should be able to get that accomplished this week. I gave out five more parental consents yesterday and I’ll probably give out another five today. My study calls for six to ten so I will definitely meet that criteria. I’m hoping to get all or at least most of the interviews done by the end of next week so I can start the writing process the following week when we are off for fall break. I already have two interviews recorded, transcribed, and the initial coding done. I’m so excited to see things rolling along.
So all and all, things are definitely on an upswing. It has been almost a year since I began to notice symptoms related to the CA. Now I’ll be looking forward to completing the dissertation and graduation, becoming much more knowledgeable in my job, and honoring my body, mind, and spirit. Of course my circles of friends and family will continue to be huge pieces of my life.
I send deep gratitude to each and every one of you who have been a part of my healing. I know it took a village to make this happen.
Hugs and lots of love to you all!
Dar
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Sunday September 18, 2011
We went to the Hesperia Eagles last night for dinner and karaoke last night. Cristy, Mike, Betty, and Lindsay joined us for the fun. Sure was surprised to see Mike B. as the KJ!
Taylor marched in the Hesperia Day Parade in the morning. She was the only girl with a rifle! She was stylin’ in her ROTC uniform. Lindsay and I walked the parade route with her. That is the longest walk I’ve had in a long time. It sure will be nice when I can feel the bottoms of my feet and my toes!
After the parade, I had the PET scan done. I have an appointment with the oncologist a week from tomorrow to get the results. Hopefully I can then put most of this experience in the past. I will still have to go in once a month to have the port flushed and to check my blood. I thought that I would have the port taken out next summer, but Lindsay suggested I keep it in for at least a couple of years. The surgery for getting it was more extensive than what most people experience, and she is concerned that it might be even more difficult if I have to have it done again. She has been spot on so far…I will follow her advice.
Today I plan to spend most of the day in my sewing studio. I have lots of projects to keep me busy…not to mention laundry…housework…yard work…But I feel great and have lots of energy and for that I am very grateful.
Tomorrow starts week three of my new job and week two of flying solo. It is great to look forward to going to work!
Hugs to you all!
Dar
Taylor marched in the Hesperia Day Parade in the morning. She was the only girl with a rifle! She was stylin’ in her ROTC uniform. Lindsay and I walked the parade route with her. That is the longest walk I’ve had in a long time. It sure will be nice when I can feel the bottoms of my feet and my toes!
After the parade, I had the PET scan done. I have an appointment with the oncologist a week from tomorrow to get the results. Hopefully I can then put most of this experience in the past. I will still have to go in once a month to have the port flushed and to check my blood. I thought that I would have the port taken out next summer, but Lindsay suggested I keep it in for at least a couple of years. The surgery for getting it was more extensive than what most people experience, and she is concerned that it might be even more difficult if I have to have it done again. She has been spot on so far…I will follow her advice.
Today I plan to spend most of the day in my sewing studio. I have lots of projects to keep me busy…not to mention laundry…housework…yard work…But I feel great and have lots of energy and for that I am very grateful.
Tomorrow starts week three of my new job and week two of flying solo. It is great to look forward to going to work!
Hugs to you all!
Dar
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Wednesday 9/14/11
I haven’t updated for a while because I’ve been waiting for lab results. I went last Thursday for blood work. My hemoglobin is still down at 8.8 (normal is 12 – 18) and my white blood count is 2.9 (normal 4.5-6.5). The PA suggested I take vitamins to help bring those numbers up. I feel really good, though.
I started my new job as the Counselor at the middle school last Tuesday. I worked with the gal who has been in the job for the past 8 years over those 4 days. Monday was my first day flying solo. I just LOVE my job. Yesterday I had a meeting that included middle school counselors from all over the high desert to share ideas and talk about programs at their school sites. It is a great way to share resources and find out what is happening in the school counseling world. Today and tomorrow I have training all day. Did I mention that I just LOVE my new job!!!! I still have a LOT to learn, but I am enjoying the adventure of finding my way.
More good news!!!! Yesterday the oncologist’s office called and my CA-125 is down to 11.4!!! That is the lowest it has ever been. Now I just have to get the PET scan. I’ll be calling today to get that scheduled.
I am starting to get peach fuzz on my scalp. I’m guessing it will be 6 – 12 months before I can ditch the wig, but at least I’m seeing some progress. Now if only I could feel the bottoms of my feet and my middle toes… But that will happen with time also.
So all and all things are going really well. I’m very happy and my stress level is very low. I’m eating healthier, meditating, and feeling stronger every day.
Thank you all for your encouragement, support and love. It has made all the difference!
Hugs,
Dar
I started my new job as the Counselor at the middle school last Tuesday. I worked with the gal who has been in the job for the past 8 years over those 4 days. Monday was my first day flying solo. I just LOVE my job. Yesterday I had a meeting that included middle school counselors from all over the high desert to share ideas and talk about programs at their school sites. It is a great way to share resources and find out what is happening in the school counseling world. Today and tomorrow I have training all day. Did I mention that I just LOVE my new job!!!! I still have a LOT to learn, but I am enjoying the adventure of finding my way.
More good news!!!! Yesterday the oncologist’s office called and my CA-125 is down to 11.4!!! That is the lowest it has ever been. Now I just have to get the PET scan. I’ll be calling today to get that scheduled.
I am starting to get peach fuzz on my scalp. I’m guessing it will be 6 – 12 months before I can ditch the wig, but at least I’m seeing some progress. Now if only I could feel the bottoms of my feet and my middle toes… But that will happen with time also.
So all and all things are going really well. I’m very happy and my stress level is very low. I’m eating healthier, meditating, and feeling stronger every day.
Thank you all for your encouragement, support and love. It has made all the difference!
Hugs,
Dar
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Tuesday 08/30/11
I’m still waiting for the call to schedule the PET scan. I spoke with a gal in the oncologist’s office yesterday and she said I should hear from the imaging place by the end of the week. I’m scheduled to have my porta cath flushed on Sept 8. . I’m guessing they will do blood tests that day also. I will have to go every 4-6 weeks to have that done so the port does not clot up. If all goes well, I should be able to have that removed next summer.
The only symptom I still have is the neuropathy in my feet. It is a difficult feeling to explain but the bottoms of my feet and my toes are mostly numb, however they also hurt when I walk on them. The oncologist said that might go away in weeks, months, or up to a year.
Big news is that I accepted a position as the Guidance Counselor at one of the middle schools in my district. I am waiting for HR to find a replacement for me in the classroom and then I’m off to my new career. I obtained my M.S. in School Counseling in 2000 and had intended that to be my ultimate job. But due to budget cuts, these positions are few and far between. So I will be out of the classroom, finally! I’m so looking forward to this new adventure! Lindsay went clothes shopping with me last week and I now have a completely new work wardrobe. Then we went looking for shoes and I ended up with four pair of work shoes. I usually HATE to shop for clothes and shoes, however this time I found lots of things I liked and that fit well. Huge thanks, once again, to Lindsay! She is such a blessing in so many ways.
That’s about all for now. I’ll update when I hear from the imaging center.
Hugs,
Dar
The only symptom I still have is the neuropathy in my feet. It is a difficult feeling to explain but the bottoms of my feet and my toes are mostly numb, however they also hurt when I walk on them. The oncologist said that might go away in weeks, months, or up to a year.
Big news is that I accepted a position as the Guidance Counselor at one of the middle schools in my district. I am waiting for HR to find a replacement for me in the classroom and then I’m off to my new career. I obtained my M.S. in School Counseling in 2000 and had intended that to be my ultimate job. But due to budget cuts, these positions are few and far between. So I will be out of the classroom, finally! I’m so looking forward to this new adventure! Lindsay went clothes shopping with me last week and I now have a completely new work wardrobe. Then we went looking for shoes and I ended up with four pair of work shoes. I usually HATE to shop for clothes and shoes, however this time I found lots of things I liked and that fit well. Huge thanks, once again, to Lindsay! She is such a blessing in so many ways.
That’s about all for now. I’ll update when I hear from the imaging center.
Hugs,
Dar
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Thursday 08/18/11
Saw the oncologist today and he will put through the referral for the PET scan tomorrow. He said it would take about 10 days to get approval and then another couple of days for the imaging company to schedule it. But I should be able to have the scan within the next 3 weeks. Then I will schedule an appointment with both the oncologist up here and also the surgeon at UCI. If the PET scan is clear, I don’t have to do any more chemo!!! And I don’t have to do any more until at least after the scan so I get a break for about 8 weeks. Whoo Hoo!
Hugs!
Dar
Hugs!
Dar
Monday, August 15, 2011
Monday 08/15/11
I had my “week-after chemo” blood tests today. The numbers are really down this time. WBC was 1.6 (normal 4.1 – 10.9) RBC was 2.49 (normal is 4.20-6.30) Hematocrit was 25.6 (normal 37-51) Hemoglobin was 8.4 (normal 12.0-18.0). And the fact that I have a cold right now is not good as my body does not have the resources to combat any infection. The oncologist gave me a prescription for an antibiotic that I will need to take twice a day. In spite of all that, I was able to have a delightful lunch with Martha and Heather and run several errands. I’m tired this evening so it will be good that tomorrow I will be home most of the day. I want to stop by Cristy’s, as it is her birthday tomorrow, and I want to drop off a small gift. I am scheduled for a massage in the late afternoon. I thought it would be a good thing to have the day before I head back to work on Wednesday. Shannon is in Albuquerque for a work conference this week, but Wes will be home after work every day so I’ll have company.
That’s the update for now. I’ll do another update after my appointment on Thursday.
Hugs to all!
Dar
That’s the update for now. I’ll do another update after my appointment on Thursday.
Hugs to all!
Dar
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Sunday 08/14/11
Started with a sore throat on Thursday night and now it seems to have turned into a chest cold. Lots of coughing. Yesterday Shannon and I went to Apple Valley to pick up my sewing machine. It is all cleaned and oiled and ready for another year of service. By the time we got back home, I was wiped out. I sat in my chair and watched shows that we had recorded over the week. My mind is full of energy and it gets frustrated with my body who won’t keep up. There are so many things I want to do but sometimes just walking to another room leaves me worn out. I guess this is my body’s way of asserting itself. One of the lessons this whole experience has taught me is that I must honor my body just as much as I do my head. Before I became ill I never thought about my body. It was like I lived from the neck up. Now I am forced to acknowledge my body’s importance and to pay attention to its needs. Such a tough lesson for me.
I talked to Lindsay last night and she has cautioned me to be open minded when we see the oncologist on Thursday. The gal that was doing chemo with me had been told by the oncologist that she would need 6 – 9 treatments. She had her heart set that she was done after the 6th one. But the oncologist wanted her to have 3 more. Although she was really disappointed, she did those additional three. She just had a CT scan and last week the oncologist told her she was cancer free! The oncologist told me 9 – 12 treatments. I have had 8 full treatments so far. Lindsay doesn’t want me to be devastated if the oncologist wants me to do more treatments. So although I so want to be done with chemo so I can get my life back, I am trying to psych myself up so if he does say I need more, I won’t be blindsided. We shall see.
I am having lunch with Heather and Martha tomorrow. Haven’t seen them since I have been off from work in January. Martha has sent me numerous text messages wishing me well, and Heather has sent me a card every week with news of her family. I am so fortunate to have such wonderful friends. I go back to work on Wednesday to a new classroom where all of my stuff is in boxes. Martha will be helping me to get the classroom in shape for when the students start on Monday Aug 22.
It appears that I already have 21 students on my roll. These students have a variety of cognitive and behavioral challenges such as autism, mental retardation, ADHD, among others. These students are in my Special Day Class where they are supposed to have small group instruction to help to remediate their academic deficits so they can eventually be moved into the general education classes. With 21 students in grades 4-6 and academic abilities that range from K – 4, and having only one aide, small groups are pretty much out the window. This has caused me no small amount of angst in the past. But this year my perspective has changed. I will do the best that I can to teach those who are receptive. I will set up a learning environment that will group students by ability and a schedule that will provide instruction in as small of groups as possible. And I will teach as I have always done. The difference this year is in the level of responsibility I will be assigning to my role. Believe me that I want so much to be able to reach each of the students in my class and see that they are progressing toward academic mastery. But I have come to realize that some students (due to a variety of reasons) will not be receptive. They have so much emotional baggage that they are unable to function appropriately in an SDC class such as mine. These students need much more attention than I am able to give with the high numbers of students placed in my class. I would love to be able to do counseling sessions (individual and group) with these students and try to help them with their emotional issues. But I am not there as a counselor. I am there as a teacher. That being said, I have taken myself off the hook for feeling responsibility for those students. I thank one of the administrators in my district for that. In a meeting we were all told that “we are not there to fix kids”. As much as that threw me for a loop when I heard it, I have come to realize that it is true, that I cannot fix all kids. Like the starfish story, even if I reach one, I will have made a huge contribution in that one child’s life. So the burden of responsibility has been lifted from me alone and shifted to include the parents, the students, the administration and the community. With that paradigm shift I am looking forward to my sixteenth year of teaching. I have the pleasure and honor of an amazing para-professional, Martha, who everyday goes way above and beyond. As a team we will do the best that we can for as many as we can.
The other thing I need to focus on this year is my dissertation. As soon as the district rolls over the students from 2010/2011 to 2011/2012 I can get the list of potential participants. I hope to start right away getting interviews scheduled. Then the writing can begin and the drafts sent to my committee. I’m going to have a schedule so I work on the dissertation each day for a specific amount of time. The chair of my committee recommends writing one page per day. I think that is doable!
I go tomorrow to have my week after chemo blood test. It’s gonna be a busy week. :)
Hugs to all!
Dar
I talked to Lindsay last night and she has cautioned me to be open minded when we see the oncologist on Thursday. The gal that was doing chemo with me had been told by the oncologist that she would need 6 – 9 treatments. She had her heart set that she was done after the 6th one. But the oncologist wanted her to have 3 more. Although she was really disappointed, she did those additional three. She just had a CT scan and last week the oncologist told her she was cancer free! The oncologist told me 9 – 12 treatments. I have had 8 full treatments so far. Lindsay doesn’t want me to be devastated if the oncologist wants me to do more treatments. So although I so want to be done with chemo so I can get my life back, I am trying to psych myself up so if he does say I need more, I won’t be blindsided. We shall see.
I am having lunch with Heather and Martha tomorrow. Haven’t seen them since I have been off from work in January. Martha has sent me numerous text messages wishing me well, and Heather has sent me a card every week with news of her family. I am so fortunate to have such wonderful friends. I go back to work on Wednesday to a new classroom where all of my stuff is in boxes. Martha will be helping me to get the classroom in shape for when the students start on Monday Aug 22.
It appears that I already have 21 students on my roll. These students have a variety of cognitive and behavioral challenges such as autism, mental retardation, ADHD, among others. These students are in my Special Day Class where they are supposed to have small group instruction to help to remediate their academic deficits so they can eventually be moved into the general education classes. With 21 students in grades 4-6 and academic abilities that range from K – 4, and having only one aide, small groups are pretty much out the window. This has caused me no small amount of angst in the past. But this year my perspective has changed. I will do the best that I can to teach those who are receptive. I will set up a learning environment that will group students by ability and a schedule that will provide instruction in as small of groups as possible. And I will teach as I have always done. The difference this year is in the level of responsibility I will be assigning to my role. Believe me that I want so much to be able to reach each of the students in my class and see that they are progressing toward academic mastery. But I have come to realize that some students (due to a variety of reasons) will not be receptive. They have so much emotional baggage that they are unable to function appropriately in an SDC class such as mine. These students need much more attention than I am able to give with the high numbers of students placed in my class. I would love to be able to do counseling sessions (individual and group) with these students and try to help them with their emotional issues. But I am not there as a counselor. I am there as a teacher. That being said, I have taken myself off the hook for feeling responsibility for those students. I thank one of the administrators in my district for that. In a meeting we were all told that “we are not there to fix kids”. As much as that threw me for a loop when I heard it, I have come to realize that it is true, that I cannot fix all kids. Like the starfish story, even if I reach one, I will have made a huge contribution in that one child’s life. So the burden of responsibility has been lifted from me alone and shifted to include the parents, the students, the administration and the community. With that paradigm shift I am looking forward to my sixteenth year of teaching. I have the pleasure and honor of an amazing para-professional, Martha, who everyday goes way above and beyond. As a team we will do the best that we can for as many as we can.
The other thing I need to focus on this year is my dissertation. As soon as the district rolls over the students from 2010/2011 to 2011/2012 I can get the list of potential participants. I hope to start right away getting interviews scheduled. Then the writing can begin and the drafts sent to my committee. I’m going to have a schedule so I work on the dissertation each day for a specific amount of time. The chair of my committee recommends writing one page per day. I think that is doable!
I go tomorrow to have my week after chemo blood test. It’s gonna be a busy week. :)
Hugs to all!
Dar
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