I’ve been reflecting on this past year and all of the changes that have come my way. I had begun to have symptoms last November and then went into the hospital in December. I was given the diagnosis of ovarian cancer on Dec 23, 2010. I had surgery on Jan 21, 2011 and started chemo in Feb 2011. My last chemo was Aug 8, 2011. I lost almost 50lbs and all of my hair. I had a PET scan in September that showed all evidence of cancer was gone. My CA-125s have all been in the 11.4 range for the past 3 months. My blood tests still show some anemia, but I feel great and have lots of energy.
Last Christmas, I was having trouble eating and breathing…I was on oxygen. This year I was bustling around, baking, sewing, and enjoying life. I’ve put some of the weight back on (especially after all that baking :)) and my hair is about an inch long now. I no longer wear my “hair hat”. When I go back to work on Jan 9, I will be sporting a new look…spiky hair. :)
I’ve been invited to be part of a band and it has been such fun to play bass again. I’m taking bass lessons as well. I’ve completed all of the interviews for my dissertation, they have been transcribed, and now I’m working on the coding. I’ve been doing some kind of sewing almost every day. My life feels full and every morning I feel anticipation and excitement at what the day will bring.
I have learned so much from the cancer teacher. To be grateful for each and every moment, for the love, support, and encouragement from my amazing friends and family, and to never take anything for granted. Although I must admit, there is fear that it could come back. This fear lurks just around my consciousness but I gently push those thoughts to the back recesses of my mind. I was told that there was only a 30% survival rate for ovarian cancer. So instead of focusing on the 70% who don’t make it, I figure I will be in that 30%. Some people have to…why not me? I took an elective class during my first couple of years at ITP called Grief, Death, and Dying. One of the assignments was to listen to a recording of a book called “One Year to Live”. The couple decided to live for one year as if it were their last. They made some remarkable discoveries. At the time of the class, I could not really appreciate the significance of this assignment. But now I try to live each day in positive intention and gratefulness. I am so much more at peace than I have been in many years. Cancer taught me a lot…but I’m glad it is gone.
I will be going back to the oncologist next Monday for my monthly blood test and port flush. I will need to do that every four to five weeks for the next several years. Eventually I am hopeful that the port can be removed…but for now it is just a minor inconvenience in the whole scheme of things. I still have the neuropathy in my feet, but again, it pales in comparison to other symptoms I have experienced over this past year.
Over the next couple of days I will be reflecting on setting my intentions for 2012. I don’t think of them as “resolutions” as much as guidelines for maintaining balance in my life. It is so easy for me to get sucked into a whirlwind of activities and forget to breathe. I am so grateful for all of you for helping me to remember to pause and take a breath.
Wishing each of you a 2012 filled with love, laughter, peace, prosperity, abundance, and health.
Hugs,
Dar
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Wednesday 12/7/11
Just a quick update. I had my blood drawn when the PA at the oncologist’s office did the port flush last Thursday. My white count is good (in the normal range) but I still have a bit of anemia. Just can’t seem to keep my hemoglobin up there. She told me to take vitamins with iron. One of my Pinkie Sistas, Stephanie (ITP), told me of some good ones but I’ll have to ask her again.
My CA-125 came back at 11.5. Yeah!
It is a constant nagging worry that I keep tucked at the back of my mind about that number. I have had two friends now, have their numbers jump into the critical range after having had chemo and going for a period of time with low numbers. But I also know others who have had the low numbers for over a decade. Still the fear continues to lurk in the corners of my daily life.
I still really love my job. There is just not enough time to get to all of the students who need the help. But I work my way through the pile of call slips each day. Maybe someday I’ll find the bottom!
On the dissertation front, I have finished the sixth interview. I have several packets still out and if they come in, great…it will just give me more data. But I have the minimum I need for my study. I have to transcribe that last one and then over winter break I’ll be working on writing the final chapters of the dissertation.
The band is coming along nicely. We have had three rehearsals. The music and harmonies are already coming together. The next bass lesson is tomorrow. Shonna liked the idea of learning to play the bass lines on a keyboard rather than the bass guitar so our teacher will be showing both. Pretty cool that we have such a versatile teacher.
I still have lots of quilt tops to quilt. Four of them are Christmas presents so those are the ones I’ll concentrate on first. Once I get going on them, it won’t take long to get them quilted. And then there is the binding…
So all and all things are really good in my life. I have an amazing family and super friends. I am doing my best to maintain balance between family, friends, work, and hobbies. It is great when they can be combined.
Hugs to you all, and thank you for keeping me in your thoughts.
Dar
My CA-125 came back at 11.5. Yeah!
It is a constant nagging worry that I keep tucked at the back of my mind about that number. I have had two friends now, have their numbers jump into the critical range after having had chemo and going for a period of time with low numbers. But I also know others who have had the low numbers for over a decade. Still the fear continues to lurk in the corners of my daily life.
I still really love my job. There is just not enough time to get to all of the students who need the help. But I work my way through the pile of call slips each day. Maybe someday I’ll find the bottom!
On the dissertation front, I have finished the sixth interview. I have several packets still out and if they come in, great…it will just give me more data. But I have the minimum I need for my study. I have to transcribe that last one and then over winter break I’ll be working on writing the final chapters of the dissertation.
The band is coming along nicely. We have had three rehearsals. The music and harmonies are already coming together. The next bass lesson is tomorrow. Shonna liked the idea of learning to play the bass lines on a keyboard rather than the bass guitar so our teacher will be showing both. Pretty cool that we have such a versatile teacher.
I still have lots of quilt tops to quilt. Four of them are Christmas presents so those are the ones I’ll concentrate on first. Once I get going on them, it won’t take long to get them quilted. And then there is the binding…
So all and all things are really good in my life. I have an amazing family and super friends. I am doing my best to maintain balance between family, friends, work, and hobbies. It is great when they can be combined.
Hugs to you all, and thank you for keeping me in your thoughts.
Dar
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Wednesday 11/9/11
I know I haven’t written for a while so I thought I would update the blog.
I had my blood work done last Thursday and all of my levels are normal again. My CA125 was 11.7! I still have the neuropathy in my feet. It is difficult to walk barefoot as there are so many places on the bottom of my feet that I still cannot feel. And if I’m on my feet too much they start to throb. But this is such a minor issue in the whole scheme of things.
Otherwise, I have been feeling great and so many wonderful opportunities have been arriving.
I absolutely LOVE my new job as counselor for a middle school. Every morning I look forward to what the day will bring. I never have to do any discipline with the students. Years ago I developed my own personal mission statement of what I felt was my main purpose in life. “To motivate and inspire others to reach their highest potential”. I get to live that mission each and every day now. I come home with a full heart every night. I am doing what I was meant to do.
One of the teachers at my school is in a band and when she heard that I used to play music professionally, she asked me to join her band. Such an exciting opportunity! Again, I don’t have to do any of the stuff I didn’t like before, like booking the band, dealing with the club owners, or having to “talk” with band members. I get to just show up, sing, and play bass. And that leads me to another awesome journey. I met an incredible bass player and asked her if she would consider teaching. She agreed and I have my first real bass lesson this Thursday night. I’m so excited! I had played bass for years but never had a lesson. Now I will be able to play and really know the instrument. Great stuff!
The new band is coming over to the ShanDar Saloon on Saturday evening to jam and just get to know each other. I’m really looking forward to that.
I have thirteen quilt tops waiting to be quilted. Guess I’d better stop piecing and get to quilting. Some of them are Christmas presents, so I’d better get going! :)
I have only one more interview to do and then I am done with that phase of my dissertation. I’m currently transcribing the interviews I have done and when that is completed I can focus on the coding and then writing the final two chapters. I can see the light at the end of the Ph.D. tunnel! I plan to spend most of the 3 week Winter Break, completing the first draft so I can get it to my committee by mid-January. I seem to be running the course for that goal.
I still want to work on eating healthier, exercising, and a regular meditation practice. I start and stop with these. It seems so easy to slip back into old habits that are not conducive to health. Even if I can do one of these things each day, I will be doing myself a favor.
One of the many lessons I learned from having had cancer is to be mindful of each commitment I make. My intention is to limit activities that do not bring me joy. And also to keep my commitments manageable. It is so easy for me to over commit to too many activities. Right now I have the Ph.D., quilting, singing, and relearning to play bass. I am not adding anything else to this list for now. When the Ph.D. is completed, I can replace that with something else if I choose. As tempting as it is to volunteer for a position at my quilt guild or at my school site, I am being very mindful of keeping my hand down. My mentor, who is now also the chair of my Ph.D. committee, passed on some sage advice. Whenever faced with a decision, the question to ask is “what do I love and what do I love more?” I think of that lesson each and every day. It seems to be an essential question for me.
That is all for now. I’ll try to update this blog every couple of weeks.
Big hugs to each and every one of you!
Dar
I had my blood work done last Thursday and all of my levels are normal again. My CA125 was 11.7! I still have the neuropathy in my feet. It is difficult to walk barefoot as there are so many places on the bottom of my feet that I still cannot feel. And if I’m on my feet too much they start to throb. But this is such a minor issue in the whole scheme of things.
Otherwise, I have been feeling great and so many wonderful opportunities have been arriving.
I absolutely LOVE my new job as counselor for a middle school. Every morning I look forward to what the day will bring. I never have to do any discipline with the students. Years ago I developed my own personal mission statement of what I felt was my main purpose in life. “To motivate and inspire others to reach their highest potential”. I get to live that mission each and every day now. I come home with a full heart every night. I am doing what I was meant to do.
One of the teachers at my school is in a band and when she heard that I used to play music professionally, she asked me to join her band. Such an exciting opportunity! Again, I don’t have to do any of the stuff I didn’t like before, like booking the band, dealing with the club owners, or having to “talk” with band members. I get to just show up, sing, and play bass. And that leads me to another awesome journey. I met an incredible bass player and asked her if she would consider teaching. She agreed and I have my first real bass lesson this Thursday night. I’m so excited! I had played bass for years but never had a lesson. Now I will be able to play and really know the instrument. Great stuff!
The new band is coming over to the ShanDar Saloon on Saturday evening to jam and just get to know each other. I’m really looking forward to that.
I have thirteen quilt tops waiting to be quilted. Guess I’d better stop piecing and get to quilting. Some of them are Christmas presents, so I’d better get going! :)
I have only one more interview to do and then I am done with that phase of my dissertation. I’m currently transcribing the interviews I have done and when that is completed I can focus on the coding and then writing the final two chapters. I can see the light at the end of the Ph.D. tunnel! I plan to spend most of the 3 week Winter Break, completing the first draft so I can get it to my committee by mid-January. I seem to be running the course for that goal.
I still want to work on eating healthier, exercising, and a regular meditation practice. I start and stop with these. It seems so easy to slip back into old habits that are not conducive to health. Even if I can do one of these things each day, I will be doing myself a favor.
One of the many lessons I learned from having had cancer is to be mindful of each commitment I make. My intention is to limit activities that do not bring me joy. And also to keep my commitments manageable. It is so easy for me to over commit to too many activities. Right now I have the Ph.D., quilting, singing, and relearning to play bass. I am not adding anything else to this list for now. When the Ph.D. is completed, I can replace that with something else if I choose. As tempting as it is to volunteer for a position at my quilt guild or at my school site, I am being very mindful of keeping my hand down. My mentor, who is now also the chair of my Ph.D. committee, passed on some sage advice. Whenever faced with a decision, the question to ask is “what do I love and what do I love more?” I think of that lesson each and every day. It seems to be an essential question for me.
That is all for now. I’ll try to update this blog every couple of weeks.
Big hugs to each and every one of you!
Dar
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Monday 09/26/11
Today is a very good day! Went to the oncologist’s office and got the results from the PET scan. I am completely cancer free!!! No more chemo!!! I’ll have to have my blood checked every couple of months and I’ll have to get the porta cath flushed every month. But that is such a minor thing. I go to see the surgeon next Monday for a follow-up appointment. I just have to keep up the healthy eating, meditation, and begin some kind of exercise. My feet and toes are still numb but I can start by doing some floor work. I’d like to start Yoga or Tai Chi but first I need to build up muscle strength. Small steps. A new gallstone was found on the scan and I have had three episodes of those symptoms. I’m going to check with the UCI surgeon on Monday to see if there are other treatments besides surgery. But if I have to have it out, it is an outpatient procedure and I can have it done over one of the holiday breaks.
I absolutely love my new job. Every day is something new. I look forward to going to work with lots of positive anticipation. I know this is the work I was meant to do.
On the dissertation front…I have one participant ready to interview. I should be able to get that accomplished this week. I gave out five more parental consents yesterday and I’ll probably give out another five today. My study calls for six to ten so I will definitely meet that criteria. I’m hoping to get all or at least most of the interviews done by the end of next week so I can start the writing process the following week when we are off for fall break. I already have two interviews recorded, transcribed, and the initial coding done. I’m so excited to see things rolling along.
So all and all, things are definitely on an upswing. It has been almost a year since I began to notice symptoms related to the CA. Now I’ll be looking forward to completing the dissertation and graduation, becoming much more knowledgeable in my job, and honoring my body, mind, and spirit. Of course my circles of friends and family will continue to be huge pieces of my life.
I send deep gratitude to each and every one of you who have been a part of my healing. I know it took a village to make this happen.
Hugs and lots of love to you all!
Dar
I absolutely love my new job. Every day is something new. I look forward to going to work with lots of positive anticipation. I know this is the work I was meant to do.
On the dissertation front…I have one participant ready to interview. I should be able to get that accomplished this week. I gave out five more parental consents yesterday and I’ll probably give out another five today. My study calls for six to ten so I will definitely meet that criteria. I’m hoping to get all or at least most of the interviews done by the end of next week so I can start the writing process the following week when we are off for fall break. I already have two interviews recorded, transcribed, and the initial coding done. I’m so excited to see things rolling along.
So all and all, things are definitely on an upswing. It has been almost a year since I began to notice symptoms related to the CA. Now I’ll be looking forward to completing the dissertation and graduation, becoming much more knowledgeable in my job, and honoring my body, mind, and spirit. Of course my circles of friends and family will continue to be huge pieces of my life.
I send deep gratitude to each and every one of you who have been a part of my healing. I know it took a village to make this happen.
Hugs and lots of love to you all!
Dar
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Sunday September 18, 2011
We went to the Hesperia Eagles last night for dinner and karaoke last night. Cristy, Mike, Betty, and Lindsay joined us for the fun. Sure was surprised to see Mike B. as the KJ!
Taylor marched in the Hesperia Day Parade in the morning. She was the only girl with a rifle! She was stylin’ in her ROTC uniform. Lindsay and I walked the parade route with her. That is the longest walk I’ve had in a long time. It sure will be nice when I can feel the bottoms of my feet and my toes!
After the parade, I had the PET scan done. I have an appointment with the oncologist a week from tomorrow to get the results. Hopefully I can then put most of this experience in the past. I will still have to go in once a month to have the port flushed and to check my blood. I thought that I would have the port taken out next summer, but Lindsay suggested I keep it in for at least a couple of years. The surgery for getting it was more extensive than what most people experience, and she is concerned that it might be even more difficult if I have to have it done again. She has been spot on so far…I will follow her advice.
Today I plan to spend most of the day in my sewing studio. I have lots of projects to keep me busy…not to mention laundry…housework…yard work…But I feel great and have lots of energy and for that I am very grateful.
Tomorrow starts week three of my new job and week two of flying solo. It is great to look forward to going to work!
Hugs to you all!
Dar
Taylor marched in the Hesperia Day Parade in the morning. She was the only girl with a rifle! She was stylin’ in her ROTC uniform. Lindsay and I walked the parade route with her. That is the longest walk I’ve had in a long time. It sure will be nice when I can feel the bottoms of my feet and my toes!
After the parade, I had the PET scan done. I have an appointment with the oncologist a week from tomorrow to get the results. Hopefully I can then put most of this experience in the past. I will still have to go in once a month to have the port flushed and to check my blood. I thought that I would have the port taken out next summer, but Lindsay suggested I keep it in for at least a couple of years. The surgery for getting it was more extensive than what most people experience, and she is concerned that it might be even more difficult if I have to have it done again. She has been spot on so far…I will follow her advice.
Today I plan to spend most of the day in my sewing studio. I have lots of projects to keep me busy…not to mention laundry…housework…yard work…But I feel great and have lots of energy and for that I am very grateful.
Tomorrow starts week three of my new job and week two of flying solo. It is great to look forward to going to work!
Hugs to you all!
Dar
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Wednesday 9/14/11
I haven’t updated for a while because I’ve been waiting for lab results. I went last Thursday for blood work. My hemoglobin is still down at 8.8 (normal is 12 – 18) and my white blood count is 2.9 (normal 4.5-6.5). The PA suggested I take vitamins to help bring those numbers up. I feel really good, though.
I started my new job as the Counselor at the middle school last Tuesday. I worked with the gal who has been in the job for the past 8 years over those 4 days. Monday was my first day flying solo. I just LOVE my job. Yesterday I had a meeting that included middle school counselors from all over the high desert to share ideas and talk about programs at their school sites. It is a great way to share resources and find out what is happening in the school counseling world. Today and tomorrow I have training all day. Did I mention that I just LOVE my new job!!!! I still have a LOT to learn, but I am enjoying the adventure of finding my way.
More good news!!!! Yesterday the oncologist’s office called and my CA-125 is down to 11.4!!! That is the lowest it has ever been. Now I just have to get the PET scan. I’ll be calling today to get that scheduled.
I am starting to get peach fuzz on my scalp. I’m guessing it will be 6 – 12 months before I can ditch the wig, but at least I’m seeing some progress. Now if only I could feel the bottoms of my feet and my middle toes… But that will happen with time also.
So all and all things are going really well. I’m very happy and my stress level is very low. I’m eating healthier, meditating, and feeling stronger every day.
Thank you all for your encouragement, support and love. It has made all the difference!
Hugs,
Dar
I started my new job as the Counselor at the middle school last Tuesday. I worked with the gal who has been in the job for the past 8 years over those 4 days. Monday was my first day flying solo. I just LOVE my job. Yesterday I had a meeting that included middle school counselors from all over the high desert to share ideas and talk about programs at their school sites. It is a great way to share resources and find out what is happening in the school counseling world. Today and tomorrow I have training all day. Did I mention that I just LOVE my new job!!!! I still have a LOT to learn, but I am enjoying the adventure of finding my way.
More good news!!!! Yesterday the oncologist’s office called and my CA-125 is down to 11.4!!! That is the lowest it has ever been. Now I just have to get the PET scan. I’ll be calling today to get that scheduled.
I am starting to get peach fuzz on my scalp. I’m guessing it will be 6 – 12 months before I can ditch the wig, but at least I’m seeing some progress. Now if only I could feel the bottoms of my feet and my middle toes… But that will happen with time also.
So all and all things are going really well. I’m very happy and my stress level is very low. I’m eating healthier, meditating, and feeling stronger every day.
Thank you all for your encouragement, support and love. It has made all the difference!
Hugs,
Dar
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Tuesday 08/30/11
I’m still waiting for the call to schedule the PET scan. I spoke with a gal in the oncologist’s office yesterday and she said I should hear from the imaging place by the end of the week. I’m scheduled to have my porta cath flushed on Sept 8. . I’m guessing they will do blood tests that day also. I will have to go every 4-6 weeks to have that done so the port does not clot up. If all goes well, I should be able to have that removed next summer.
The only symptom I still have is the neuropathy in my feet. It is a difficult feeling to explain but the bottoms of my feet and my toes are mostly numb, however they also hurt when I walk on them. The oncologist said that might go away in weeks, months, or up to a year.
Big news is that I accepted a position as the Guidance Counselor at one of the middle schools in my district. I am waiting for HR to find a replacement for me in the classroom and then I’m off to my new career. I obtained my M.S. in School Counseling in 2000 and had intended that to be my ultimate job. But due to budget cuts, these positions are few and far between. So I will be out of the classroom, finally! I’m so looking forward to this new adventure! Lindsay went clothes shopping with me last week and I now have a completely new work wardrobe. Then we went looking for shoes and I ended up with four pair of work shoes. I usually HATE to shop for clothes and shoes, however this time I found lots of things I liked and that fit well. Huge thanks, once again, to Lindsay! She is such a blessing in so many ways.
That’s about all for now. I’ll update when I hear from the imaging center.
Hugs,
Dar
The only symptom I still have is the neuropathy in my feet. It is a difficult feeling to explain but the bottoms of my feet and my toes are mostly numb, however they also hurt when I walk on them. The oncologist said that might go away in weeks, months, or up to a year.
Big news is that I accepted a position as the Guidance Counselor at one of the middle schools in my district. I am waiting for HR to find a replacement for me in the classroom and then I’m off to my new career. I obtained my M.S. in School Counseling in 2000 and had intended that to be my ultimate job. But due to budget cuts, these positions are few and far between. So I will be out of the classroom, finally! I’m so looking forward to this new adventure! Lindsay went clothes shopping with me last week and I now have a completely new work wardrobe. Then we went looking for shoes and I ended up with four pair of work shoes. I usually HATE to shop for clothes and shoes, however this time I found lots of things I liked and that fit well. Huge thanks, once again, to Lindsay! She is such a blessing in so many ways.
That’s about all for now. I’ll update when I hear from the imaging center.
Hugs,
Dar
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Thursday 08/18/11
Saw the oncologist today and he will put through the referral for the PET scan tomorrow. He said it would take about 10 days to get approval and then another couple of days for the imaging company to schedule it. But I should be able to have the scan within the next 3 weeks. Then I will schedule an appointment with both the oncologist up here and also the surgeon at UCI. If the PET scan is clear, I don’t have to do any more chemo!!! And I don’t have to do any more until at least after the scan so I get a break for about 8 weeks. Whoo Hoo!
Hugs!
Dar
Hugs!
Dar
Monday, August 15, 2011
Monday 08/15/11
I had my “week-after chemo” blood tests today. The numbers are really down this time. WBC was 1.6 (normal 4.1 – 10.9) RBC was 2.49 (normal is 4.20-6.30) Hematocrit was 25.6 (normal 37-51) Hemoglobin was 8.4 (normal 12.0-18.0). And the fact that I have a cold right now is not good as my body does not have the resources to combat any infection. The oncologist gave me a prescription for an antibiotic that I will need to take twice a day. In spite of all that, I was able to have a delightful lunch with Martha and Heather and run several errands. I’m tired this evening so it will be good that tomorrow I will be home most of the day. I want to stop by Cristy’s, as it is her birthday tomorrow, and I want to drop off a small gift. I am scheduled for a massage in the late afternoon. I thought it would be a good thing to have the day before I head back to work on Wednesday. Shannon is in Albuquerque for a work conference this week, but Wes will be home after work every day so I’ll have company.
That’s the update for now. I’ll do another update after my appointment on Thursday.
Hugs to all!
Dar
That’s the update for now. I’ll do another update after my appointment on Thursday.
Hugs to all!
Dar
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Sunday 08/14/11
Started with a sore throat on Thursday night and now it seems to have turned into a chest cold. Lots of coughing. Yesterday Shannon and I went to Apple Valley to pick up my sewing machine. It is all cleaned and oiled and ready for another year of service. By the time we got back home, I was wiped out. I sat in my chair and watched shows that we had recorded over the week. My mind is full of energy and it gets frustrated with my body who won’t keep up. There are so many things I want to do but sometimes just walking to another room leaves me worn out. I guess this is my body’s way of asserting itself. One of the lessons this whole experience has taught me is that I must honor my body just as much as I do my head. Before I became ill I never thought about my body. It was like I lived from the neck up. Now I am forced to acknowledge my body’s importance and to pay attention to its needs. Such a tough lesson for me.
I talked to Lindsay last night and she has cautioned me to be open minded when we see the oncologist on Thursday. The gal that was doing chemo with me had been told by the oncologist that she would need 6 – 9 treatments. She had her heart set that she was done after the 6th one. But the oncologist wanted her to have 3 more. Although she was really disappointed, she did those additional three. She just had a CT scan and last week the oncologist told her she was cancer free! The oncologist told me 9 – 12 treatments. I have had 8 full treatments so far. Lindsay doesn’t want me to be devastated if the oncologist wants me to do more treatments. So although I so want to be done with chemo so I can get my life back, I am trying to psych myself up so if he does say I need more, I won’t be blindsided. We shall see.
I am having lunch with Heather and Martha tomorrow. Haven’t seen them since I have been off from work in January. Martha has sent me numerous text messages wishing me well, and Heather has sent me a card every week with news of her family. I am so fortunate to have such wonderful friends. I go back to work on Wednesday to a new classroom where all of my stuff is in boxes. Martha will be helping me to get the classroom in shape for when the students start on Monday Aug 22.
It appears that I already have 21 students on my roll. These students have a variety of cognitive and behavioral challenges such as autism, mental retardation, ADHD, among others. These students are in my Special Day Class where they are supposed to have small group instruction to help to remediate their academic deficits so they can eventually be moved into the general education classes. With 21 students in grades 4-6 and academic abilities that range from K – 4, and having only one aide, small groups are pretty much out the window. This has caused me no small amount of angst in the past. But this year my perspective has changed. I will do the best that I can to teach those who are receptive. I will set up a learning environment that will group students by ability and a schedule that will provide instruction in as small of groups as possible. And I will teach as I have always done. The difference this year is in the level of responsibility I will be assigning to my role. Believe me that I want so much to be able to reach each of the students in my class and see that they are progressing toward academic mastery. But I have come to realize that some students (due to a variety of reasons) will not be receptive. They have so much emotional baggage that they are unable to function appropriately in an SDC class such as mine. These students need much more attention than I am able to give with the high numbers of students placed in my class. I would love to be able to do counseling sessions (individual and group) with these students and try to help them with their emotional issues. But I am not there as a counselor. I am there as a teacher. That being said, I have taken myself off the hook for feeling responsibility for those students. I thank one of the administrators in my district for that. In a meeting we were all told that “we are not there to fix kids”. As much as that threw me for a loop when I heard it, I have come to realize that it is true, that I cannot fix all kids. Like the starfish story, even if I reach one, I will have made a huge contribution in that one child’s life. So the burden of responsibility has been lifted from me alone and shifted to include the parents, the students, the administration and the community. With that paradigm shift I am looking forward to my sixteenth year of teaching. I have the pleasure and honor of an amazing para-professional, Martha, who everyday goes way above and beyond. As a team we will do the best that we can for as many as we can.
The other thing I need to focus on this year is my dissertation. As soon as the district rolls over the students from 2010/2011 to 2011/2012 I can get the list of potential participants. I hope to start right away getting interviews scheduled. Then the writing can begin and the drafts sent to my committee. I’m going to have a schedule so I work on the dissertation each day for a specific amount of time. The chair of my committee recommends writing one page per day. I think that is doable!
I go tomorrow to have my week after chemo blood test. It’s gonna be a busy week. :)
Hugs to all!
Dar
I talked to Lindsay last night and she has cautioned me to be open minded when we see the oncologist on Thursday. The gal that was doing chemo with me had been told by the oncologist that she would need 6 – 9 treatments. She had her heart set that she was done after the 6th one. But the oncologist wanted her to have 3 more. Although she was really disappointed, she did those additional three. She just had a CT scan and last week the oncologist told her she was cancer free! The oncologist told me 9 – 12 treatments. I have had 8 full treatments so far. Lindsay doesn’t want me to be devastated if the oncologist wants me to do more treatments. So although I so want to be done with chemo so I can get my life back, I am trying to psych myself up so if he does say I need more, I won’t be blindsided. We shall see.
I am having lunch with Heather and Martha tomorrow. Haven’t seen them since I have been off from work in January. Martha has sent me numerous text messages wishing me well, and Heather has sent me a card every week with news of her family. I am so fortunate to have such wonderful friends. I go back to work on Wednesday to a new classroom where all of my stuff is in boxes. Martha will be helping me to get the classroom in shape for when the students start on Monday Aug 22.
It appears that I already have 21 students on my roll. These students have a variety of cognitive and behavioral challenges such as autism, mental retardation, ADHD, among others. These students are in my Special Day Class where they are supposed to have small group instruction to help to remediate their academic deficits so they can eventually be moved into the general education classes. With 21 students in grades 4-6 and academic abilities that range from K – 4, and having only one aide, small groups are pretty much out the window. This has caused me no small amount of angst in the past. But this year my perspective has changed. I will do the best that I can to teach those who are receptive. I will set up a learning environment that will group students by ability and a schedule that will provide instruction in as small of groups as possible. And I will teach as I have always done. The difference this year is in the level of responsibility I will be assigning to my role. Believe me that I want so much to be able to reach each of the students in my class and see that they are progressing toward academic mastery. But I have come to realize that some students (due to a variety of reasons) will not be receptive. They have so much emotional baggage that they are unable to function appropriately in an SDC class such as mine. These students need much more attention than I am able to give with the high numbers of students placed in my class. I would love to be able to do counseling sessions (individual and group) with these students and try to help them with their emotional issues. But I am not there as a counselor. I am there as a teacher. That being said, I have taken myself off the hook for feeling responsibility for those students. I thank one of the administrators in my district for that. In a meeting we were all told that “we are not there to fix kids”. As much as that threw me for a loop when I heard it, I have come to realize that it is true, that I cannot fix all kids. Like the starfish story, even if I reach one, I will have made a huge contribution in that one child’s life. So the burden of responsibility has been lifted from me alone and shifted to include the parents, the students, the administration and the community. With that paradigm shift I am looking forward to my sixteenth year of teaching. I have the pleasure and honor of an amazing para-professional, Martha, who everyday goes way above and beyond. As a team we will do the best that we can for as many as we can.
The other thing I need to focus on this year is my dissertation. As soon as the district rolls over the students from 2010/2011 to 2011/2012 I can get the list of potential participants. I hope to start right away getting interviews scheduled. Then the writing can begin and the drafts sent to my committee. I’m going to have a schedule so I work on the dissertation each day for a specific amount of time. The chair of my committee recommends writing one page per day. I think that is doable!
I go tomorrow to have my week after chemo blood test. It’s gonna be a busy week. :)
Hugs to all!
Dar
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Thursday 08/11/11
Day 3 after chemo and only mild side effects. One is that my tongue feels like it is burned and I have little ability to taste anything. But that is something I get every time after chemo and it is certainly not a major consideration. Within a couple of days, that will be back to normal. I started to have some of the lower extremity pain last night, but I’m not feeling any pain now.
CA-125 results came back at 14.8. It was just a bit higher than last time (12), but the PA said not to worry as the number will bounce around from time to time. She said I am still well within normal limits (2-35).
So I’m off to do some light house cleaning and then I’ll be heading into my studio to work on my current project. It sure feels good to feel good!
Hugs!
CA-125 results came back at 14.8. It was just a bit higher than last time (12), but the PA said not to worry as the number will bounce around from time to time. She said I am still well within normal limits (2-35).
So I’m off to do some light house cleaning and then I’ll be heading into my studio to work on my current project. It sure feels good to feel good!
Hugs!
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Wednesday 08/10/11
Shannon and I returned home this past Sunday from a cruise to Mexico. The ship stopped in Cabo for 2 days and then to Puerto Vallarta for 1 day. We didn’t leave the ship once! I read two fun books that were almost 600 pages each and started several others (on my new color Nook). We played cards and just had a VERY relaxing week. It was a good break between the events of the past 10 months and the beginning of this next chapter.
I had chemo Monday 8/8 and the oncologist’s office was able to have the Taxol available. It was an uneventful treatment and so far I have no symptoms or side effects. I should have the latest CA-125 results sometime today. I’ll post when I receive that number. My hemoglobin was still down at 9.6 (normal is 12-18) so I needed to have another shot of Procrit so the anemia would not plummet after the chemo. I go next Monday for my week after chemo blood test to see how those numbers are doing. My white count will go from 2.2 the week after chemo, to what it was on Monday (3 weeks later) at 6.5. It is the anemia that seems to stay low. I am amazed that I am able to function so well at those low numbers and can only imagine how much more energy and vitality I will have when I am no longer so anemic! Look out! :)
Lindsay and I go to see the oncologist on Wed 8/18. The goal is to postpone more treatment pending the results of a PET scan that will need to be scheduled. If my scan is negative, then I will hopefully be done with chemo. I’ll keep you posted.
I was back into my sewing studio yesterday working on a project out of a magazine that Cristy and I have been challenged to finish by the end of this year.
I was awake at 1am yesterday morning so I got up and started doing some initial planning for the upcoming school year. I start back to work next Wednesday with 3 days of teacher only prep time before the kids start on Aug 22. I don’t feel that I am stressing about going back to work, just starting to get prepared a little at a time so that doesn’t happen.
I have also been reading about topics that relate to my dissertation. I will hopefully finish with all of the participant interviews by mid-October so the writing can begin in earnest. The intent is to have the bulk of the initial draft completed by the time my Ph.D. program reconvenes in January. Then I have a few months to tighten it up and submit the final draft in plenty of time to graduate June 2012. I not only want this to be a quality project, I also want to limit stressing myself out by pushing to finish before the June date. My mantra is balance, balance, balance.
Thank you all, once again, for your support, encouragement, prayers, and love. I know that they have been an instrumental piece in my recovery.
Hugs!
Dar
I had chemo Monday 8/8 and the oncologist’s office was able to have the Taxol available. It was an uneventful treatment and so far I have no symptoms or side effects. I should have the latest CA-125 results sometime today. I’ll post when I receive that number. My hemoglobin was still down at 9.6 (normal is 12-18) so I needed to have another shot of Procrit so the anemia would not plummet after the chemo. I go next Monday for my week after chemo blood test to see how those numbers are doing. My white count will go from 2.2 the week after chemo, to what it was on Monday (3 weeks later) at 6.5. It is the anemia that seems to stay low. I am amazed that I am able to function so well at those low numbers and can only imagine how much more energy and vitality I will have when I am no longer so anemic! Look out! :)
Lindsay and I go to see the oncologist on Wed 8/18. The goal is to postpone more treatment pending the results of a PET scan that will need to be scheduled. If my scan is negative, then I will hopefully be done with chemo. I’ll keep you posted.
I was back into my sewing studio yesterday working on a project out of a magazine that Cristy and I have been challenged to finish by the end of this year.
I was awake at 1am yesterday morning so I got up and started doing some initial planning for the upcoming school year. I start back to work next Wednesday with 3 days of teacher only prep time before the kids start on Aug 22. I don’t feel that I am stressing about going back to work, just starting to get prepared a little at a time so that doesn’t happen.
I have also been reading about topics that relate to my dissertation. I will hopefully finish with all of the participant interviews by mid-October so the writing can begin in earnest. The intent is to have the bulk of the initial draft completed by the time my Ph.D. program reconvenes in January. Then I have a few months to tighten it up and submit the final draft in plenty of time to graduate June 2012. I not only want this to be a quality project, I also want to limit stressing myself out by pushing to finish before the June date. My mantra is balance, balance, balance.
Thank you all, once again, for your support, encouragement, prayers, and love. I know that they have been an instrumental piece in my recovery.
Hugs!
Dar
Friday, July 29, 2011
Friday 07/29/11
I have been feeling so good! Being able to get into my sewing studio every day and knock out those UFOs (Unfinished Objects for you non quilters ) has been so fun. Cristy came over on Wednesday and gave me a lesson on mitered corners so I was able to finish a quilt top called Attic Windows that I started in a class in 2009. Once again I am so grateful for her mentoring. The top really turned out awesome and I can see myself making more of them. Since I have been so productive in getting UFOs completed, I went to my stash of kits and started a new one. It’s going to be amazing.
Cristy and I went to the Long Beach International Quilt Show Preview Night last night. We visited the venders and then admired the amazing quilts on display from all over the world. Some of them are so amazing it is hard to believe they were made by human hands.
Lindsay and I have plans to spend the day today together. Looking forward to that!
The biggest news is that my last CA-125 was at …….. drum roll please……12! Whoo Hoo! Down from 15.
If you can imagine….there is a national shortage of the two most common chemo drugs for ovarian cancer (one of them Taxol that I have been on). How is that possible?!?!? Certainly demand has not gone down! Between my oncologist’s office and St. Mary’s, they are trying to get one more dose for me so I can get my final (I hope) treatment on Aug. 8. Otherwise I have to have a different drug. My surgeon at UC Irvine was adamant that I have six treatments of Taxol.
Is this shortage a ploy to increase revenue for the drug manufacturers? With the amount of people taking these drugs you’d think they would be swimming in money. I hate to think they are playing with people’s lives in order to increase the costs. But it seems odd to me that with three manufacturers making the drug, there would be a national shortage. I will just have to trust that I will somehow get that last treatment with the Taxol.
Well I’m off to mother/daughter day with the most amazing daughter on the planet!
Hugs to all,
Dar
Cristy and I went to the Long Beach International Quilt Show Preview Night last night. We visited the venders and then admired the amazing quilts on display from all over the world. Some of them are so amazing it is hard to believe they were made by human hands.
Lindsay and I have plans to spend the day today together. Looking forward to that!
The biggest news is that my last CA-125 was at …….. drum roll please……12! Whoo Hoo! Down from 15.
If you can imagine….there is a national shortage of the two most common chemo drugs for ovarian cancer (one of them Taxol that I have been on). How is that possible?!?!? Certainly demand has not gone down! Between my oncologist’s office and St. Mary’s, they are trying to get one more dose for me so I can get my final (I hope) treatment on Aug. 8. Otherwise I have to have a different drug. My surgeon at UC Irvine was adamant that I have six treatments of Taxol.
Is this shortage a ploy to increase revenue for the drug manufacturers? With the amount of people taking these drugs you’d think they would be swimming in money. I hate to think they are playing with people’s lives in order to increase the costs. But it seems odd to me that with three manufacturers making the drug, there would be a national shortage. I will just have to trust that I will somehow get that last treatment with the Taxol.
Well I’m off to mother/daughter day with the most amazing daughter on the planet!
Hugs to all,
Dar
Friday, July 22, 2011
Friday 07/22/11
Considering that this is the week after chemo, I am doing really well. The only symptoms I’ve had are the shooting pains in my hips and legs, but even those have been minimal and have only happened in the evenings. During the days I have been able to be up and around doing the things I like to do.
I finished a baby quilt top for my brother’s great grandson this week. Today I’ll go and get the binding, backing, and batting for it. Shannon has been in New Orleans for a conference this week. Wes was here Monday night and last night. He made BBQ chicken both nights. He is a GREAT griller! Tuesday I went to Lindsay’s house and spent the night. Wednesday was Taylor’s 15th birthday. I came home Wednesday night.
Today Betty is picking me up so we can go have lunch, get the fabric for the baby quilt, and to my appointment at the oncologist’s office for my blood work. They will pull the CA-125 today so I should have the results on Monday. Sure would like to see single digits! I made my appointment with the oncologist for Aug 18 to see if I can get the PET scan. I’m hoping he will agree that I can stop treatment after the one on Aug 8. That will be a total of 8 treatments, not including the partial first one, and I will have had 6 treatments of the Taxol. The oncologist said I would need 9-12 treatments when I first started, but my surgeon at UCI said 6 treatments of Taxol would be sufficient. I just want to be done with this.
I feel like I have learned the lessons this experience was sent to teach me so it is time to be done with it so I can move on with my life. I just have to continue to practice those lessons. I doubt I will ever take feeling good for granted again and I know I will be much kinder to myself after this. Recognizing when I am stressing over insignificant (and most of it is insignificant in the whole scheme of things) events and releasing the need to fix other’s problems will go a long way in my recovery. Giving myself time to honor the six transpersonal psychology pillars that include, intellectual, emotional, physical, spiritual, creative, and relational in a balanced way will also contribute to my overall health and wellbeing. I have the time now to prepare so that when I go back to work on Aug 17, I will have a grounded and balanced routine in place. Although 2011 came in like a lion, I am intending that it go out like a lamb and that 2012 will be the best year to date. It’s all up to me.
Hugs to all!
Dar
I finished a baby quilt top for my brother’s great grandson this week. Today I’ll go and get the binding, backing, and batting for it. Shannon has been in New Orleans for a conference this week. Wes was here Monday night and last night. He made BBQ chicken both nights. He is a GREAT griller! Tuesday I went to Lindsay’s house and spent the night. Wednesday was Taylor’s 15th birthday. I came home Wednesday night.
Today Betty is picking me up so we can go have lunch, get the fabric for the baby quilt, and to my appointment at the oncologist’s office for my blood work. They will pull the CA-125 today so I should have the results on Monday. Sure would like to see single digits! I made my appointment with the oncologist for Aug 18 to see if I can get the PET scan. I’m hoping he will agree that I can stop treatment after the one on Aug 8. That will be a total of 8 treatments, not including the partial first one, and I will have had 6 treatments of the Taxol. The oncologist said I would need 9-12 treatments when I first started, but my surgeon at UCI said 6 treatments of Taxol would be sufficient. I just want to be done with this.
I feel like I have learned the lessons this experience was sent to teach me so it is time to be done with it so I can move on with my life. I just have to continue to practice those lessons. I doubt I will ever take feeling good for granted again and I know I will be much kinder to myself after this. Recognizing when I am stressing over insignificant (and most of it is insignificant in the whole scheme of things) events and releasing the need to fix other’s problems will go a long way in my recovery. Giving myself time to honor the six transpersonal psychology pillars that include, intellectual, emotional, physical, spiritual, creative, and relational in a balanced way will also contribute to my overall health and wellbeing. I have the time now to prepare so that when I go back to work on Aug 17, I will have a grounded and balanced routine in place. Although 2011 came in like a lion, I am intending that it go out like a lamb and that 2012 will be the best year to date. It’s all up to me.
Hugs to all!
Dar
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Saturday 07/16/11
I had an uneventful chemo treatment yesterday. Woke up this morning at 2am and was up till 5:30am. No pain or symptoms, just wide awake. My hemoglobin was up to 10.6 so even if it drops a point over this next week, I’ll still be ok. Hopefully I’ll be symptom free. :)
Cristy and I spent most of Monday, all day Tuesday (she finished her quilt top on Tuesday), and I continued working on it at her house all day Wed and a couple of hours on Thurs morning. This was a quilt top we started at a class at Road to California in Jan 2007. Judy Niemeyers Wedding Star. I still have some work to do on mine to completely finish the top, but I have the lion’s share done. I hope to have it completed by tomorrow night. Thanks of course to Cristy. She is a quilting teacher and mentor extraordinaire. I would have NEVER been able to get this done without her patience, experience, and amazing techniques. Thank you so much, once again, Cristy!!!
Today we are waiting for Sears to deliver the new dryer (ours bit the dust last week). Then we will be off to do a run to the dump to unload Shannon’s truck of junk we picked up around the yard. Now it doesn’t look so much like Sanford and Sons around here. Over the next month we will need to do one more run over there to finish, but now most of it will be off the property.
Well Sears is here. We ordered a white dryer with the white pedestals. They have arrived with a white dryer and purple pedestals. REALLY?!?!?!? So we will have to schedule ANOTHER delivery date. OYE! Oh well, in the whole scheme of things, it is not such a big deal. Can’t use the dryer anyways until we get someone over to put the conversion kit from natural gas to propane on the dryer. Soonest Sears can do that is 7/25. Oh well, good thing we have nice weather so we can air dry clothes.
And I’m feeling good with no symptoms so today is a good day! :)
Hugs to all,
Dar
Cristy and I spent most of Monday, all day Tuesday (she finished her quilt top on Tuesday), and I continued working on it at her house all day Wed and a couple of hours on Thurs morning. This was a quilt top we started at a class at Road to California in Jan 2007. Judy Niemeyers Wedding Star. I still have some work to do on mine to completely finish the top, but I have the lion’s share done. I hope to have it completed by tomorrow night. Thanks of course to Cristy. She is a quilting teacher and mentor extraordinaire. I would have NEVER been able to get this done without her patience, experience, and amazing techniques. Thank you so much, once again, Cristy!!!
Today we are waiting for Sears to deliver the new dryer (ours bit the dust last week). Then we will be off to do a run to the dump to unload Shannon’s truck of junk we picked up around the yard. Now it doesn’t look so much like Sanford and Sons around here. Over the next month we will need to do one more run over there to finish, but now most of it will be off the property.
Well Sears is here. We ordered a white dryer with the white pedestals. They have arrived with a white dryer and purple pedestals. REALLY?!?!?!? So we will have to schedule ANOTHER delivery date. OYE! Oh well, in the whole scheme of things, it is not such a big deal. Can’t use the dryer anyways until we get someone over to put the conversion kit from natural gas to propane on the dryer. Soonest Sears can do that is 7/25. Oh well, good thing we have nice weather so we can air dry clothes.
And I’m feeling good with no symptoms so today is a good day! :)
Hugs to all,
Dar
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Thursday 07/07/11
Wow! It feel so good to feel GOOD!!! I don’t think I will ever take feeling good for granted again. Shannon and I went out for lunch on Sunday and I could hardly hold my head up. It had been a whole week of debilitating weakness. I started to feel better on Monday so I began working on charity quilts for my quilt guild. By Tuesday evening I had three tops completed. I still have to get fabric for the borders and sew those on, but at least most of the main part is complete. I know I won’t have time to do extra projects once work starts and I’m focusing my attention on my dissertation.
Yesterday I loaded my HQ16 with a quilt sandwich of muslin and batting and set out to get the tension issues worked out. I had purchased a couple of gauges to help with that but after spending most of the day on it, the tension still is not where it should be. I’m going to work on it a little bit more this morning and then I need to quilt a top that a friend is giving to her guild. That will probably take me most of the day.
My CA-125 went down from 16 to 15 so it is still in the right direction.
It is so good to have energy again!
Hugs,
Dar
Yesterday I loaded my HQ16 with a quilt sandwich of muslin and batting and set out to get the tension issues worked out. I had purchased a couple of gauges to help with that but after spending most of the day on it, the tension still is not where it should be. I’m going to work on it a little bit more this morning and then I need to quilt a top that a friend is giving to her guild. That will probably take me most of the day.
My CA-125 went down from 16 to 15 so it is still in the right direction.
It is so good to have energy again!
Hugs,
Dar
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Satruday 07/02/11
This has been a tough week. Very little pain, but I have not had any energy. I was able to work on a quilting project with lots of breaks in between. I found out on Friday when I had my blood tests that my hemoglobin was down to 8.6. (The low end of normal is 12.0) No wonder I have been so wiped out! I got another shot of Procrit so hopefully that will help me produce more red blood cells.
I will have the results for the CA-125 on Tuesday due to the holiday. I’ll keep you posted. I’m so hoping that I only have two more treatments. If my results continues to be in the low numbers, that should be the case.
I’ve been doing a lot of sleeping both day and night. I feel a little better today and I’m hoping by tomorrow I’ll have enough energy to finish up a quilt top that is almost done. Next week I want to practice with my quilting machine (HandiQuilter 16). I have several quilt tops that are ready to be quilted so I hope I can get them done next week.
Wes started his new job and he really loves it. It looks like it is a good match for him and the VA.
I had planned to go up to Wrightwood today for Mountaineer days. The quilt guild I am a member of, Pine Needles Quilt Guild, was having a their annual mini quilt auction. It is one of our big fund raisers of the year. But I was not feeling up to it today. A year ago I would have pushed myself to go. But now I am able to realize that pushing is just not all it's cracked up to be. I'm feeling good about my decision to stay home and rest.
Not much else to report. Just taking it easy and doing a lot of nothing.
Hugs,
Dar
I will have the results for the CA-125 on Tuesday due to the holiday. I’ll keep you posted. I’m so hoping that I only have two more treatments. If my results continues to be in the low numbers, that should be the case.
I’ve been doing a lot of sleeping both day and night. I feel a little better today and I’m hoping by tomorrow I’ll have enough energy to finish up a quilt top that is almost done. Next week I want to practice with my quilting machine (HandiQuilter 16). I have several quilt tops that are ready to be quilted so I hope I can get them done next week.
Wes started his new job and he really loves it. It looks like it is a good match for him and the VA.
I had planned to go up to Wrightwood today for Mountaineer days. The quilt guild I am a member of, Pine Needles Quilt Guild, was having a their annual mini quilt auction. It is one of our big fund raisers of the year. But I was not feeling up to it today. A year ago I would have pushed myself to go. But now I am able to realize that pushing is just not all it's cracked up to be. I'm feeling good about my decision to stay home and rest.
Not much else to report. Just taking it easy and doing a lot of nothing.
Hugs,
Dar
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Tuesday 06/28/11
I had chemo this past Friday. It was uneventful. I spent the whole time going over the professional editing corrections on a paper that may be published. There were three of us who contributed to the paper that compared the moral development of children in the West to that of the children of the Inuit community. Sure would be great to get it published.
Saturday Shannon and I went on the last of the quilt run. We started in Chula Vista and then made our way up through San Diego visiting twelve shops. I got my I DID IT bar that will go on my quilt run pin. It is the second time since I started doing the quilt run (in 2006) that I went to all of the shops. Betty and I did the Orange County part, Cristy and I did the San Bernardino/Riverside part, and Shannon and I did the LA and San Diego parts.
On Sunday we ran errands and by the time we came home I was pretty tired. I slept pretty much all day yesterday. Almost no pain this time, just feel really tired. My hemoglobin was down to 9.2 on Friday so I got a shot of Procrit to help me make more red blood cells. I go this Friday to have my blood drawn and if my hemoglobin is still down, I’ll probably have to have a blood transfusion. Hopefully over the next couple of days those cells will rebound and I can avoid the transfusion.
Lindsay and Wes took our old living room furniture to the dump this morning. One more dump run and I think we will have all the junk gone from the yard. Little by little we are getting things done around the house. Lindsay is going to stay and hang out with me today and Wes is going down to the VA to get his badge so he can start working. He should get a start date today. He is so excited to be going back to work.
I’m hoping to have my energy back over the next couple of days so I can get back into my sewing studio. I have lots to organize after the quilt run and I want to start completing some projects that are in various stages. Right now, though, I will be staying close to my chair and resting. I’ll write on Friday after I get my blood results.
Hugs,
Dar
Saturday Shannon and I went on the last of the quilt run. We started in Chula Vista and then made our way up through San Diego visiting twelve shops. I got my I DID IT bar that will go on my quilt run pin. It is the second time since I started doing the quilt run (in 2006) that I went to all of the shops. Betty and I did the Orange County part, Cristy and I did the San Bernardino/Riverside part, and Shannon and I did the LA and San Diego parts.
On Sunday we ran errands and by the time we came home I was pretty tired. I slept pretty much all day yesterday. Almost no pain this time, just feel really tired. My hemoglobin was down to 9.2 on Friday so I got a shot of Procrit to help me make more red blood cells. I go this Friday to have my blood drawn and if my hemoglobin is still down, I’ll probably have to have a blood transfusion. Hopefully over the next couple of days those cells will rebound and I can avoid the transfusion.
Lindsay and Wes took our old living room furniture to the dump this morning. One more dump run and I think we will have all the junk gone from the yard. Little by little we are getting things done around the house. Lindsay is going to stay and hang out with me today and Wes is going down to the VA to get his badge so he can start working. He should get a start date today. He is so excited to be going back to work.
I’m hoping to have my energy back over the next couple of days so I can get back into my sewing studio. I have lots to organize after the quilt run and I want to start completing some projects that are in various stages. Right now, though, I will be staying close to my chair and resting. I’ll write on Friday after I get my blood results.
Hugs,
Dar
Monday, June 20, 2011
Monday 06/18/11
I have been feeling really good this past week. No pain and the fatigue is not so bad. It has been so nice to feel good. Since having had this health experience over the past 8 months, I really appreciate each and every day that I feel good. I never take it for granted anymore. I notice that it is easier and easier to recognize what is really important and what things I can let go.
I’m finding that so many things I thought were important such as over committing myself to different projects, deadlines, and overly high expectations of what I “should” be doing, or “should” have accomplished, are really unnecessary when considering the whole scheme of being. Now that I look back over all of the stress I put myself through to attempt to meet my own unrealistic expectations and those expectations I imagined others’ expecting of me, I find an inner chagrined smile. It was all a losing and futile game. I now have only two goals. One is to be completely healthy and the other is to finish my Ph.D. program. I plan to curtail all other activities to meet those goals. Over the summer I plan to spend time playing with quilting projects, enjoy time with friends and family, and healing. Starting in August, the focus will be on my research study and writing the dissertation. I have been released by my doctor to go back to work when school resumes on August 17. But I will be going back to work with a completely different perspective. I will be mindfully practicing letting go of expectations and outcomes at work. Hopefully that will allow me to concentrate and focus my energy on my research and continued healing to complete my two goals.
I plan to enjoy each and every day this week feeling good. I have chemo on Friday so next week I will deal with the side effects of the treatment. But today is a good day and I plan to be productive while honoring my body’s need for rest.
I know that much of my healing is a result of all of your positive thoughts and prayers. Thank you all!
Hugs,
Dar
I’m finding that so many things I thought were important such as over committing myself to different projects, deadlines, and overly high expectations of what I “should” be doing, or “should” have accomplished, are really unnecessary when considering the whole scheme of being. Now that I look back over all of the stress I put myself through to attempt to meet my own unrealistic expectations and those expectations I imagined others’ expecting of me, I find an inner chagrined smile. It was all a losing and futile game. I now have only two goals. One is to be completely healthy and the other is to finish my Ph.D. program. I plan to curtail all other activities to meet those goals. Over the summer I plan to spend time playing with quilting projects, enjoy time with friends and family, and healing. Starting in August, the focus will be on my research study and writing the dissertation. I have been released by my doctor to go back to work when school resumes on August 17. But I will be going back to work with a completely different perspective. I will be mindfully practicing letting go of expectations and outcomes at work. Hopefully that will allow me to concentrate and focus my energy on my research and continued healing to complete my two goals.
I plan to enjoy each and every day this week feeling good. I have chemo on Friday so next week I will deal with the side effects of the treatment. But today is a good day and I plan to be productive while honoring my body’s need for rest.
I know that much of my healing is a result of all of your positive thoughts and prayers. Thank you all!
Hugs,
Dar
Monday, June 13, 2011
Monday 06/13/11
I just returned from the surgeon’s office at UCI. He said everything is looking great and that he wants me to have a PET scan after 6 treatments of the Taxol. I have had three already so that would make the last one the first week of August. If my scan comes back clean, I should be done with chemo. If not then I’d still need another couple of treatments. It would be so nice to not have to do chemo after I start back to work. But I’ll just have to wait and see.
Tomorrow I’m going with Shannon to work so he can introduce me to his coworkers and his boss. He’s also going to show me around the VA campus. He took half the day off so we will get lunch at Fat Burger (a place they usually go to on Tuesdays) and then we will head home. I have my quilt guild meeting tomorrow night. So it will be a busy day and evening filled with fun stuff to do.
Hugs to all!
Dar
Tomorrow I’m going with Shannon to work so he can introduce me to his coworkers and his boss. He’s also going to show me around the VA campus. He took half the day off so we will get lunch at Fat Burger (a place they usually go to on Tuesdays) and then we will head home. I have my quilt guild meeting tomorrow night. So it will be a busy day and evening filled with fun stuff to do.
Hugs to all!
Dar
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Sunday 06/12/11
I felt much better on Friday. Went to the oncologist’s office and my latest CA-125 is 16!!! Glad to see that number continue to drop. On Saturday Shannon and I ran errands and then came home and rested. I stopped fighting against taking the pain meds and just took them. I hate taking them but when I do the abdominal pain is so much more tolerable.
Lindsay is coming over tomorrow morning to take me to my final post-op visit to UCI. That appointment is at 12:30.
I sure am glad the week after chemo is over. The next two weeks I hope to get some projects completed.
Thank you all for keeping me in your thoughts.
Hugs,
Dar
Lindsay is coming over tomorrow morning to take me to my final post-op visit to UCI. That appointment is at 12:30.
I sure am glad the week after chemo is over. The next two weeks I hope to get some projects completed.
Thank you all for keeping me in your thoughts.
Hugs,
Dar
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Wednesday 06/08/11
I’m feeling much better today. Monday and Tuesday were days to just sit and not move around too much. Lindsay and Wes come over on Monday and Shannon stayed home yesterday to be with me. It really helps having company during the few days after chemo. That seems to be the only time I get depressed and sad. I think it is because I see so many things I want to do but I just do not have the energy to even think about doing them. As long as I can make progress on something…a quilting project…my Ph.D. research…trying out a new recipe…laundry…housekeeping, one room at a time…It keeps my momentum going and I feel productive…I have a purpose. Stuck in my chair, no energy, pain, and, overwhelming fatigue, make for very long days, especially when I am alone.
Thankfully, I think the hardest is over this go round. I have some energy and I can plan to do some things today. I’ll still take it easy but at least I can see myself making some progress on something today. This morning I’m going to look at my Ph.D. research and this afternoon I’ll try to get into my sewing studio, if even for an hour or so. Just having those things to look forward to helps to buoy my spirits.
Hugs to all and thank you so much for your continuing thoughts and prayers.
Dar
Thankfully, I think the hardest is over this go round. I have some energy and I can plan to do some things today. I’ll still take it easy but at least I can see myself making some progress on something today. This morning I’m going to look at my Ph.D. research and this afternoon I’ll try to get into my sewing studio, if even for an hour or so. Just having those things to look forward to helps to buoy my spirits.
Hugs to all and thank you so much for your continuing thoughts and prayers.
Dar
Monday, June 6, 2011
Monday 06/06/11
I’d been feeling pretty good since last Wednesday. No pain and few symptoms. Had the 5th chemo treatment on Friday. Felt good on Saturday but then really tired yesterday. I was able to get laundry done but took some short naps in between. This morning I have some aching in my lower back and hips, and I feel a bit spacey. My tongue feels raw and I have little ability to taste food. It usually happens after chemo and eventually goes away in a few days. I am low on energy so I think I’ll be spending most of the day in my chair. Lindsay is coming over today and Wes said he would be here this morning also.
I don’t have any plans this week except going to get blood work done on Friday at the oncologist’s office. I usually keep things open the week after chemo in case I have symptoms that make it difficult to be very active. Hopefully in a day or so I’ll be able to at least get into my sewing studio and work on a project. But for today, I’ll be taking it easy.
Hugs to all,
Dar
I don’t have any plans this week except going to get blood work done on Friday at the oncologist’s office. I usually keep things open the week after chemo in case I have symptoms that make it difficult to be very active. Hopefully in a day or so I’ll be able to at least get into my sewing studio and work on a project. But for today, I’ll be taking it easy.
Hugs to all,
Dar
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Wednesday 06/01/11
Last week I felt pretty good. I was able to play in my quilting studio, go to my quilting friendship group, The Cut Ups, on Wednesday evening, and do the initial coding for the first participant interview of my Ph.D. program. I take lots of breaks and honor my body’s need for rest in between projects.
This past weekend was really nice. Shannon and I ran a bunch of errands on Saturday. Betty, her son Jason, Corey, Sean, and Lindsay came over on Sunday for a BBQ but it was so cold and windy we opted for oven cooked ribs and lots of side salads. Monday we went to Lowes and bought a table and chairs and some reed privacy fencing for the newly concreted small front yard. We also bought a two person swing and a cool fountain for the newly concreted side yard. If anyone needs any concrete work done, let me know. Jason did an AWESOME job!
My birthday yesterday was quiet. Lindsay came over and helped me clean out some of the kitchen cupboards. I still don’t have the flexibility to get to the bottom cupboards so Lindsay took charge (as usual ) and in no time we had those cleaned out and three of the upper cupboards. The rest I can do a little at a time. Cristy and Mike came over for a little bit and then Betty came by. Shannon stopped for pizza on the way home from work so Betty, Shannon, and I had dinner together. Martha dropped off a manila envelope with birthday cards made by the students in my class. They were fun to read.
Wes is on his way home from Long Beach this morning. He is going to put the swing and table together this afternoon. Hopefully it will warm up. Seems like spring and summer are a long time in getting here this year. I’m going to see about getting that second interview coded this morning before Wes gets here. It is a process that takes concentration, quiet, and no interruptions.
I’m feeling good right now and my next chemo treatment is this Friday. I’m usually ok the next two days after chemo but it seems that days 3, 4, and 5 are the toughest. But last time was lots easier than the time before so I’m hoping the side effects will be even less this time.
I don’t know how many of you have watched the “Ghost Whisperer” but there is an episode where Melinda’s husband, Jim, is killed and his spirit enters another man’s body. At first Jim doesn’t realize that he has a new body but several episodes later he becomes Jim but in this other body. I think about this episode when I look in the mirror now. Without my wig I see someone I don’t recognize in the mirror and with my wig it is the same thing. I know it is me inside but the person staring back at me is barely recognizable. It is certainly a disconcerting experience. Needless to say, I try to stay away from mirrors when at all possible.
A big thank you to all who sent Birthday wishes by Facebook, email, snail mail, phone texting, or in person. It really meant a lot to me.
Hugs to all,
Dar
This past weekend was really nice. Shannon and I ran a bunch of errands on Saturday. Betty, her son Jason, Corey, Sean, and Lindsay came over on Sunday for a BBQ but it was so cold and windy we opted for oven cooked ribs and lots of side salads. Monday we went to Lowes and bought a table and chairs and some reed privacy fencing for the newly concreted small front yard. We also bought a two person swing and a cool fountain for the newly concreted side yard. If anyone needs any concrete work done, let me know. Jason did an AWESOME job!
My birthday yesterday was quiet. Lindsay came over and helped me clean out some of the kitchen cupboards. I still don’t have the flexibility to get to the bottom cupboards so Lindsay took charge (as usual ) and in no time we had those cleaned out and three of the upper cupboards. The rest I can do a little at a time. Cristy and Mike came over for a little bit and then Betty came by. Shannon stopped for pizza on the way home from work so Betty, Shannon, and I had dinner together. Martha dropped off a manila envelope with birthday cards made by the students in my class. They were fun to read.
Wes is on his way home from Long Beach this morning. He is going to put the swing and table together this afternoon. Hopefully it will warm up. Seems like spring and summer are a long time in getting here this year. I’m going to see about getting that second interview coded this morning before Wes gets here. It is a process that takes concentration, quiet, and no interruptions.
I’m feeling good right now and my next chemo treatment is this Friday. I’m usually ok the next two days after chemo but it seems that days 3, 4, and 5 are the toughest. But last time was lots easier than the time before so I’m hoping the side effects will be even less this time.
I don’t know how many of you have watched the “Ghost Whisperer” but there is an episode where Melinda’s husband, Jim, is killed and his spirit enters another man’s body. At first Jim doesn’t realize that he has a new body but several episodes later he becomes Jim but in this other body. I think about this episode when I look in the mirror now. Without my wig I see someone I don’t recognize in the mirror and with my wig it is the same thing. I know it is me inside but the person staring back at me is barely recognizable. It is certainly a disconcerting experience. Needless to say, I try to stay away from mirrors when at all possible.
A big thank you to all who sent Birthday wishes by Facebook, email, snail mail, phone texting, or in person. It really meant a lot to me.
Hugs to all,
Dar
Monday, May 23, 2011
Monday 05/23/11
We had such a nice weekend. On Saturday I wore my wig for the first time. It is amazing how much better I feel about myself when I have at least the appearance of hair. We went to Barnes & Nobel and then to Red Lobster for dinner. Yum! On Sunday we went to breakfast and then ran some errands. I felt like a normal person over the weekend, not a cancer patient. :)
But what I really wanted to write about is that I received a message from the oncologist’s office this evening and my CA-125 came back at 20! So after two chemo treatments it went from 53 to 20. The closer to 0 the better. I was REALLY happy to get that call!
Thank you all for your continued support. It is working!!!
Hugs,
Dar
But what I really wanted to write about is that I received a message from the oncologist’s office this evening and my CA-125 came back at 20! So after two chemo treatments it went from 53 to 20. The closer to 0 the better. I was REALLY happy to get that call!
Thank you all for your continued support. It is working!!!
Hugs,
Dar
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Saturday 05/21/11
We went to the San Bernardino County Fair last Saturday and I found a 2nd place ribbon on the one quilt I had entered this year. I sure was surprised! We walked through the animal exhibits and I had my yearly funnel cake. Lindsay, Taylor, and her friend Ashley met us there after Taylor’s soccer game. We walked around for a while but it started to get really windy and cold so we left around 5.
Sunday I was still feeling pretty good. Just tired. Lindsay came over on Monday. We went through the stacks of pants in my closet from sizes 10 – 18. She helped me to condense and only keep sizes 12 – 16. Now I can actually get to the pants and know what stack is what size. Later she even did my nails. Although I still had the shooting pains in my legs, especially in my thighs, knees, ankles, and feet, it was nowhere near the extent it was after the last chemo. One gal who has been getting chemo on Friday with me said she was told to take Claritin and that helped. I started taking the Claritin on Saturday so I don’t really know if it was the Claritin that made the pain less or if it was just my body adjusting to the meds the second time. I still needed to take pain medicine but at least I was able to move around and feel productive. I did laundry on Monday while Lindsay was here. On Tuesday I transcribed the participant interview from the previous Thursday for my Ph.D. program. On Wednesday Shannon stayed home from work. He was worried about me and wanted to be home in case I needed anything. I worked on applique patches most of the day. It was such a nice surprise to have him home in my middle of the week. On Thursday Wes came home. I was able to do some housework which always feels better when it is done.
Yesterday Lindsay met me at the oncologist’s office for the blood work. My hemoglobin is still at 9.9 so I don’t have to have a blood transfusion. Yeah! But my white blood count is very low. The low end of normal is 4.1 and mine is 2.1. This means that my immune system does not have the ability to fight infection. The nurse told me to stay away from people with colds and who are sick. There is a shot I can get if the WBC count continues to be low. But the doctor said we will wait until June 3 when I have my next chemo appointment and see if the WBC has come up before doing the shot.
After that we went to lunch and then to Target. Lindsay had brought some recipes for me to try so we made copies of them and then went to the grocery store to get the ingredients. I came home, unloaded the groceries, and put them away. I decided to clean out the top of the pantry and throw away a bunch of stuff that had been accumulating. By the time I was done with that I was really tired. Shannon came home with pizza so I sat down and pretty much stayed in my chair the rest of the evening. I’m going to clean out the bottom of the pantry today. We are also going to run some errands this morning.
Lindsay is going to come over next week on one of her days off and help me with the dish cupboards. I want to take everything out, wipe out the cabinets, and get rid of stuff that we don’t use. It seems like a big job but Lindsay has a way of making even the most distasteful job easy and quick. She is such a great daughter and I thank the Universe several times every day that she chose to go through this life with me. She is truly a guardian angel and I honestly do not know how I would have gotten through this experience without her love, time, and energy. Shannon also has been amazingly supportive. He makes me feel normal and I have times that I forget I have no hair when he is here. He is so confident that this experience will all be over and that I will be whole, healthy, and well again that his confidence brushes off onto me. I am truly a lucky gal.
Sue, Ophelia, Martha, and Heather…thank you for your comments, emails, texts, and cards. They mean so much to me and it is great to know I have such wonderful friends who go over and above to encourage and support me. To my quilt guild sisters…thank you also for the cards and well wishes you send to me personally and in the newsletter. To my Pinky Warrior sisters…thank you for keeping up with the Monday morning check ins even though several of you have finished the Ph.D. program. Your continued personal progress is an inspiration to me to keep plugging along. Cristy…thank you for being such a great quilting mentor and teacher, as well as being a wonderful friend. I am so grateful to you for introducing me to quilting and helping me to tackle different projects. They and you inspire me to get out of the chair and to do something that has a purpose. Betty, thank you for always being there for moral support and even to sit with me and play cards all day while I’m getting a blood transfusion. You have been there for the past 42 years and I’m looking forward to another 30 of them! :)
Thank you to all who send prayers, positive thoughts, and keep me in their hearts and minds.
I have so much to be grateful for.
Hugs,
Dar
Sunday I was still feeling pretty good. Just tired. Lindsay came over on Monday. We went through the stacks of pants in my closet from sizes 10 – 18. She helped me to condense and only keep sizes 12 – 16. Now I can actually get to the pants and know what stack is what size. Later she even did my nails. Although I still had the shooting pains in my legs, especially in my thighs, knees, ankles, and feet, it was nowhere near the extent it was after the last chemo. One gal who has been getting chemo on Friday with me said she was told to take Claritin and that helped. I started taking the Claritin on Saturday so I don’t really know if it was the Claritin that made the pain less or if it was just my body adjusting to the meds the second time. I still needed to take pain medicine but at least I was able to move around and feel productive. I did laundry on Monday while Lindsay was here. On Tuesday I transcribed the participant interview from the previous Thursday for my Ph.D. program. On Wednesday Shannon stayed home from work. He was worried about me and wanted to be home in case I needed anything. I worked on applique patches most of the day. It was such a nice surprise to have him home in my middle of the week. On Thursday Wes came home. I was able to do some housework which always feels better when it is done.
Yesterday Lindsay met me at the oncologist’s office for the blood work. My hemoglobin is still at 9.9 so I don’t have to have a blood transfusion. Yeah! But my white blood count is very low. The low end of normal is 4.1 and mine is 2.1. This means that my immune system does not have the ability to fight infection. The nurse told me to stay away from people with colds and who are sick. There is a shot I can get if the WBC count continues to be low. But the doctor said we will wait until June 3 when I have my next chemo appointment and see if the WBC has come up before doing the shot.
After that we went to lunch and then to Target. Lindsay had brought some recipes for me to try so we made copies of them and then went to the grocery store to get the ingredients. I came home, unloaded the groceries, and put them away. I decided to clean out the top of the pantry and throw away a bunch of stuff that had been accumulating. By the time I was done with that I was really tired. Shannon came home with pizza so I sat down and pretty much stayed in my chair the rest of the evening. I’m going to clean out the bottom of the pantry today. We are also going to run some errands this morning.
Lindsay is going to come over next week on one of her days off and help me with the dish cupboards. I want to take everything out, wipe out the cabinets, and get rid of stuff that we don’t use. It seems like a big job but Lindsay has a way of making even the most distasteful job easy and quick. She is such a great daughter and I thank the Universe several times every day that she chose to go through this life with me. She is truly a guardian angel and I honestly do not know how I would have gotten through this experience without her love, time, and energy. Shannon also has been amazingly supportive. He makes me feel normal and I have times that I forget I have no hair when he is here. He is so confident that this experience will all be over and that I will be whole, healthy, and well again that his confidence brushes off onto me. I am truly a lucky gal.
Sue, Ophelia, Martha, and Heather…thank you for your comments, emails, texts, and cards. They mean so much to me and it is great to know I have such wonderful friends who go over and above to encourage and support me. To my quilt guild sisters…thank you also for the cards and well wishes you send to me personally and in the newsletter. To my Pinky Warrior sisters…thank you for keeping up with the Monday morning check ins even though several of you have finished the Ph.D. program. Your continued personal progress is an inspiration to me to keep plugging along. Cristy…thank you for being such a great quilting mentor and teacher, as well as being a wonderful friend. I am so grateful to you for introducing me to quilting and helping me to tackle different projects. They and you inspire me to get out of the chair and to do something that has a purpose. Betty, thank you for always being there for moral support and even to sit with me and play cards all day while I’m getting a blood transfusion. You have been there for the past 42 years and I’m looking forward to another 30 of them! :)
Thank you to all who send prayers, positive thoughts, and keep me in their hearts and minds.
I have so much to be grateful for.
Hugs,
Dar
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Saturday 05/14/11
I have been completely pain free since Wednesday. It is amazing how such usually small things become so appreciated…being able to get in and out of cars pain free, traveling on the 3+ miles of minimally maintained dirt roads to get back and forth to my house, being able to sew, being able to smile…:)
I had chemo yesterday in the oncologist’s office with the same meds as in the hospital with no adverse effects. As it was started, I had three nurses from the infusion room, plus Lindsay, hovering in case I had a repeat of the first treatment. But I came through uneventfully. Yeah!
I feel good today so Shannon and I will be heading to the San Bernardino County Fair to visit the exhibits. I have one quilt entered this year. Taylor has a soccer game at 1:00 today so we will be meeting Lindsay, Taylor and her friend around 3pm. It is not quite 70 degrees and very windy so we will probably just visit the indoor exhibits. The last couple of years there have not been a lot of animals so we will not be going there. Taylor and her friend will be off riding the rides so Lindsay will be with us as we visit the exhibits.
Since the third day is after chemo is usually the most challenging, Lindsay is going to come over and spend the day with me. Last time I had a lot of lower extremity pain on days 3, 4, and 5, but this time I have the meds to hopefully combat those side effects. Not much Lindsay can do but the moral support is so appreciated.
After chemo yesterday, Lindsay took me to her hair stylist so I could have my hair cut. It is REALLY short now. But I was really getting tired of the constant shedding. When I would brush my hair it looked like a squirrel in my brush with all the hair coming out. And I was constantly picking off strands from my clothes. So it was time. I’m expecting even the little I have now to be gone by the end of the month. I had no emotional reaction to the hair cut. I have had a long time to get used to the idea. And it helps so much that Shannon is incredibly supportive. The stylist, Kelly, at Wolf Whistles in Apple Valley did the cut free of charge. She said it was her gift to me. It constantly amazes me how many wonderful, kind, compassionate, and loving people I have come into contact with since receiving this diagnosis.
When Lindsay brought me home she got out my wig and put some barrettes in it to hold it back so the hair doesn’t fall in my face. But for every day I will probably stick with the hats as they are much cooler. When I go back to work in August I’ll wear the wig.
This upcoming Friday I will have the routine blood tests plus the CA-125. My hemoglobin was 9.3 yesterday. Normal is 12 at the lower end. The PA said that I was getting a pretty high dose of the Taxol so my hemoglobin will probably be down in the range that will require another blood transfusion. I’m guessing that will happen the following Tues/Wed after the referral is approved. By then I should have the results of the CA-125. I’m hoping it will be down significantly from the last result of 53 after these two treatments of the Taxol.
So for now I’m feeling good, physically and emotionally.
Hugs to all of you for your continuing support, encouragement, and love.
Dar
I had chemo yesterday in the oncologist’s office with the same meds as in the hospital with no adverse effects. As it was started, I had three nurses from the infusion room, plus Lindsay, hovering in case I had a repeat of the first treatment. But I came through uneventfully. Yeah!
I feel good today so Shannon and I will be heading to the San Bernardino County Fair to visit the exhibits. I have one quilt entered this year. Taylor has a soccer game at 1:00 today so we will be meeting Lindsay, Taylor and her friend around 3pm. It is not quite 70 degrees and very windy so we will probably just visit the indoor exhibits. The last couple of years there have not been a lot of animals so we will not be going there. Taylor and her friend will be off riding the rides so Lindsay will be with us as we visit the exhibits.
Since the third day is after chemo is usually the most challenging, Lindsay is going to come over and spend the day with me. Last time I had a lot of lower extremity pain on days 3, 4, and 5, but this time I have the meds to hopefully combat those side effects. Not much Lindsay can do but the moral support is so appreciated.
After chemo yesterday, Lindsay took me to her hair stylist so I could have my hair cut. It is REALLY short now. But I was really getting tired of the constant shedding. When I would brush my hair it looked like a squirrel in my brush with all the hair coming out. And I was constantly picking off strands from my clothes. So it was time. I’m expecting even the little I have now to be gone by the end of the month. I had no emotional reaction to the hair cut. I have had a long time to get used to the idea. And it helps so much that Shannon is incredibly supportive. The stylist, Kelly, at Wolf Whistles in Apple Valley did the cut free of charge. She said it was her gift to me. It constantly amazes me how many wonderful, kind, compassionate, and loving people I have come into contact with since receiving this diagnosis.
When Lindsay brought me home she got out my wig and put some barrettes in it to hold it back so the hair doesn’t fall in my face. But for every day I will probably stick with the hats as they are much cooler. When I go back to work in August I’ll wear the wig.
This upcoming Friday I will have the routine blood tests plus the CA-125. My hemoglobin was 9.3 yesterday. Normal is 12 at the lower end. The PA said that I was getting a pretty high dose of the Taxol so my hemoglobin will probably be down in the range that will require another blood transfusion. I’m guessing that will happen the following Tues/Wed after the referral is approved. By then I should have the results of the CA-125. I’m hoping it will be down significantly from the last result of 53 after these two treatments of the Taxol.
So for now I’m feeling good, physically and emotionally.
Hugs to all of you for your continuing support, encouragement, and love.
Dar
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Tuesday 05/10/11
I would be nice to get through one day pain free but it does not appear that is going to happen. At least I have lots of pain meds to dull the abdominal pain that is constant.
Had a really nice Mother’s Day. Wes, Sean, Shannon and I met Lindsay and Taylor at Steer ‘N Stein for an early dinner. Lindsay gave me several sets of summer jammies and some summer flip flop slippers. Sean brought be a beautiful bouquet of flowers.
Cristy and I went to the preview of the move “Race to Nowhere” yesterday evening. It was about how a variety of issues are contributing to extreme stress of our students. It identified a lot of problems but did not offer any solutions. I guess that is up to us.
Tonight is quilt guild night. We usually meet the speaker at the Mexican restaurant in WW and then go to the meeting from there. Betty will be picking me up and bringing me home.
I did get confirmation from one parent to interview her son and the green light from the principal to hold the interview there. I will call the parent later today and see if I can do the interview tomorrow or Thursday. That will be two done!
I have really scaled back on my activities to honor the process my body is going through. But I am not willing to give up everything! The few things that I really want to do I push through and do them. I won’t allow this dis-ease or the treatment to take away all of the things I enjoy. I am willing to meet half way. I have chemo on Friday but I have lots of meds to help with the side effects this time. Lindsay will be coming over on Monday to hang out with me. My hair is now coming out in clumps. I’m guessing that by the end of May it will be all gone. But I have had lots of time to come to terms with that part. I have hats and a wig. I just have to get some scarfs to tie them down to my head due to the unrelenting wind we seem to have here in the high desert.
I am so fortunate to have family and friends who support and encourage me through this experience. Thank you all!
Hugs,
Dar
Had a really nice Mother’s Day. Wes, Sean, Shannon and I met Lindsay and Taylor at Steer ‘N Stein for an early dinner. Lindsay gave me several sets of summer jammies and some summer flip flop slippers. Sean brought be a beautiful bouquet of flowers.
Cristy and I went to the preview of the move “Race to Nowhere” yesterday evening. It was about how a variety of issues are contributing to extreme stress of our students. It identified a lot of problems but did not offer any solutions. I guess that is up to us.
Tonight is quilt guild night. We usually meet the speaker at the Mexican restaurant in WW and then go to the meeting from there. Betty will be picking me up and bringing me home.
I did get confirmation from one parent to interview her son and the green light from the principal to hold the interview there. I will call the parent later today and see if I can do the interview tomorrow or Thursday. That will be two done!
I have really scaled back on my activities to honor the process my body is going through. But I am not willing to give up everything! The few things that I really want to do I push through and do them. I won’t allow this dis-ease or the treatment to take away all of the things I enjoy. I am willing to meet half way. I have chemo on Friday but I have lots of meds to help with the side effects this time. Lindsay will be coming over on Monday to hang out with me. My hair is now coming out in clumps. I’m guessing that by the end of May it will be all gone. But I have had lots of time to come to terms with that part. I have hats and a wig. I just have to get some scarfs to tie them down to my head due to the unrelenting wind we seem to have here in the high desert.
I am so fortunate to have family and friends who support and encourage me through this experience. Thank you all!
Hugs,
Dar
Monday, May 2, 2011
Monday 05/02/11
Last week was a tough one. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday were spent in a lot of pain after the chemo the previous Friday. All the muscles and joints in my legs and feet felt like they were going to explode. Shannon had to come home early from work on Wed to go to the oncologist’s office to pick up a super duper turbo pain Rx. Thursday was much better. Shannon took the day off from work just in case I was still barely able to hobble around but the pain was severely reduced. I was even able to ride with him up to the quilt shop in Apple Valley to meet Cristy to buy fabric for the quilting class scheduled on Saturday. Friday I met Lindsay at the oncologist’s office to get my blood work done. All my numbers look good. My white blood count is in the normal range and although my hemoglobin is below normal, it is still ok. We went to lunch and then I came home and worked in my sewing studio for a while.
The class on Saturday was fun. I met Cristy at her house at 8:15am and she drove up to Wrightwood. Class started at 9am and ended at 3pm. By the time I got home I was pretty exhausted. I slept for a couple of hours and when I woke up my skin all over my body hurt. This happened last time after chemo. It is like my skin is bruised all over but without the marks. But nothing like the pain at the beginning of the week. Yesterday Shannon and I went to breakfast and then to the grocery store. I really wanted to get into my studio in the afternoon but I just didn’t feel up to it.
I realized I hadn’t received a bill from the propane company for a while so we called on Thursday. We were down to 5%. Somehow we had been left off the route. So a delivery was going to be made on Friday. But the propane guy got in a wreck and couldn’t make it. We are supposed to get a delivery today but until that happens I can’t do laundry, dishes, or cook. Things are really piling up. Once the tank is full I can get house chores going again. I want to make sure we have enough propane for hot showers. Those are a priority!
I am hoping that today will be the start of a better and more productive week. I’m going to get in first thing this morning to my studio and work at least a couple of hours. Wes is supposed to come over today at some point.
Lindsay ran another half marathon yesterday in Orange County. She was pretty sore after and she has to work today. She is amazing.
That’s about all for now.
Thank you all for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers.
Hugs,
Dar
The class on Saturday was fun. I met Cristy at her house at 8:15am and she drove up to Wrightwood. Class started at 9am and ended at 3pm. By the time I got home I was pretty exhausted. I slept for a couple of hours and when I woke up my skin all over my body hurt. This happened last time after chemo. It is like my skin is bruised all over but without the marks. But nothing like the pain at the beginning of the week. Yesterday Shannon and I went to breakfast and then to the grocery store. I really wanted to get into my studio in the afternoon but I just didn’t feel up to it.
I realized I hadn’t received a bill from the propane company for a while so we called on Thursday. We were down to 5%. Somehow we had been left off the route. So a delivery was going to be made on Friday. But the propane guy got in a wreck and couldn’t make it. We are supposed to get a delivery today but until that happens I can’t do laundry, dishes, or cook. Things are really piling up. Once the tank is full I can get house chores going again. I want to make sure we have enough propane for hot showers. Those are a priority!
I am hoping that today will be the start of a better and more productive week. I’m going to get in first thing this morning to my studio and work at least a couple of hours. Wes is supposed to come over today at some point.
Lindsay ran another half marathon yesterday in Orange County. She was pretty sore after and she has to work today. She is amazing.
That’s about all for now.
Thank you all for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers.
Hugs,
Dar
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Wednesday 04/27/11
These past couple of days have been really tough. My legs and feet are in constant aching pain. Monday was the worst, yesterday a bit better and today better still. The lower extremity pain is a side effect of the Taxol. It is hard to concentrate even on reading because the aching is so intense. I have a quilting friendship group meeting this evening at Cristy’s house, but if I continue to feel like I do right now, I won’t be leaving this chair. Hopefully it will get better throughout the day.
Lindsay came over yesterday for the morning. She organized and cleaned my laundry room.
That’s about it for now. Just trying to stay ahead of the pain.
Hugs,
Dar
Lindsay came over yesterday for the morning. She organized and cleaned my laundry room.
That’s about it for now. Just trying to stay ahead of the pain.
Hugs,
Dar
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Saturday 04/23/2011
Hi All,
I thought I was going to have an outpatient hospital stay to try the Taxol again but I found out Thursday afternoon that it had to be an inpatient admit. Lindsay called me Thursday evening and said that a bed was being held for me. She had worked that day so she went home to change and then Shannon and I met Taylor and her at St. Mary’s. I was wheeled up to my room about 8pm. When they do a chemo treatment, the chemo patient is required to have a private room so another sick person won’t send germs to the chemo patient. Shannon had to leave about 8:30 cuz he had to get up and go to work on Friday. Lindsay and Taylor stayed until around 10pm. The nurse tried to access my porta cath and after 2 sticks was unsuccessful. She called in another nurse who tried a couple of times and still couldn’t get it. So they did a regular arm IV so I could be hydrated over-night. I sat up and read until midnight when the nurse came in and have me night time meds. I fell asleep around 12:30am.
The gal came in at 4am to take vitals, a guy came in at 5am to take blood, and the nurse came in at 6am to give me the thyroid med. Lindsay got there around 7am. Needless to say, not much sleep was had Thursday night.
They couldn’t start the chemo meds cuz the guy who mixes them didn’t come in until noon on Friday. I had been having such severe abdominal cramping for the past several days. I had to have help getting in and out of bed, I couldn’t straighten up to walk, and the pain was so intense that I could not even get into my sewing studio. I had started taking Vicodan again for the pain (which I hate to take) but it really didn’t do anything except make me sleepy. The oncologist came in around 8am Friday morning and said I shouldn’t be in that much pain so he ordered a CT scan of the abdomen. I had to drink a couple of 12oz cups of some kind of potion that they mixed with orange juice. Then they came around 11am to wheel me down to the room. The scan itself was uneventful. They did oral and IV contrast.
The oncologist ordered a med to help with the cramping and within an hour I was able to get in and out of the bed almost unassisted. By the late afternoon the pain was almost completely gone. My nurse called in another nurse from radiology who was an expert on porta caths. She only had to try twice and she was able to get in. The CT scan results showed “marked improvement from previous CT scan”. There was no indication of any problems new problems. Yeah!
They finally got the chemo drugs at 4pm and started the pre meds (anti-nausea). Lindsay had her friend in the ICU come down and they set up a crash cart in case I had another reaction. I was wired up to it and at about 5:30 they started the Taxol. I had NO PROBLEMS!!! I tolerated it fine and after the Taxol I had the Carboplatin. Lindsay left around 10pm as she had been there all day and she had to get up in the morning to run 10 miles. She and her friend are running a half marathon on May 1 and she is in training mode again. Shannon and I left around 11:15pm and were home by midnight.
The abdominal pain was so minimal that I was able to do everything for myself. The oncologist had called in an RX for the med so we will pick it up today. It’s amazing how one’s outlook on life is altered between intense, extended pain and then virtually no pain. I feel like I’m really living again. I woke up at 8am this morning and feel great. I’ll take the anti-nausea pills over the next couple of days as directed. When Shannon gets up we will go to breakfast (I ate very little yesterday – crackers mostly) cuz I feel hungry again. Then we will go to the post office to get the mail, then to Lowe’s to purchase a Weed Whacker so my son can tackle those pesky weeds, and to the pharmacy to pick up that RX. Then I hope to feel good enough to get into my sewing studio and finish up one UFO (quilting speak for UnFinished Object) and start a new kit.
Tomorrow we are going to Betty’s for Easter dinner. Shannon is making his famous deviled eggs and Lindsay is making her equally famous Chinese Chicken Salad. Shannon took Monday off so he could stay later tomorrow night and not worry about being able to get up at 4:30am on Monday to go to work.
So hopefully I will be feeling good so I can enjoy being with family and friends for this holiday weekend.
Happy Easter to all and thank you again for your continued encouragement, support and love!
Hugs,
Dar
I thought I was going to have an outpatient hospital stay to try the Taxol again but I found out Thursday afternoon that it had to be an inpatient admit. Lindsay called me Thursday evening and said that a bed was being held for me. She had worked that day so she went home to change and then Shannon and I met Taylor and her at St. Mary’s. I was wheeled up to my room about 8pm. When they do a chemo treatment, the chemo patient is required to have a private room so another sick person won’t send germs to the chemo patient. Shannon had to leave about 8:30 cuz he had to get up and go to work on Friday. Lindsay and Taylor stayed until around 10pm. The nurse tried to access my porta cath and after 2 sticks was unsuccessful. She called in another nurse who tried a couple of times and still couldn’t get it. So they did a regular arm IV so I could be hydrated over-night. I sat up and read until midnight when the nurse came in and have me night time meds. I fell asleep around 12:30am.
The gal came in at 4am to take vitals, a guy came in at 5am to take blood, and the nurse came in at 6am to give me the thyroid med. Lindsay got there around 7am. Needless to say, not much sleep was had Thursday night.
They couldn’t start the chemo meds cuz the guy who mixes them didn’t come in until noon on Friday. I had been having such severe abdominal cramping for the past several days. I had to have help getting in and out of bed, I couldn’t straighten up to walk, and the pain was so intense that I could not even get into my sewing studio. I had started taking Vicodan again for the pain (which I hate to take) but it really didn’t do anything except make me sleepy. The oncologist came in around 8am Friday morning and said I shouldn’t be in that much pain so he ordered a CT scan of the abdomen. I had to drink a couple of 12oz cups of some kind of potion that they mixed with orange juice. Then they came around 11am to wheel me down to the room. The scan itself was uneventful. They did oral and IV contrast.
The oncologist ordered a med to help with the cramping and within an hour I was able to get in and out of the bed almost unassisted. By the late afternoon the pain was almost completely gone. My nurse called in another nurse from radiology who was an expert on porta caths. She only had to try twice and she was able to get in. The CT scan results showed “marked improvement from previous CT scan”. There was no indication of any problems new problems. Yeah!
They finally got the chemo drugs at 4pm and started the pre meds (anti-nausea). Lindsay had her friend in the ICU come down and they set up a crash cart in case I had another reaction. I was wired up to it and at about 5:30 they started the Taxol. I had NO PROBLEMS!!! I tolerated it fine and after the Taxol I had the Carboplatin. Lindsay left around 10pm as she had been there all day and she had to get up in the morning to run 10 miles. She and her friend are running a half marathon on May 1 and she is in training mode again. Shannon and I left around 11:15pm and were home by midnight.
The abdominal pain was so minimal that I was able to do everything for myself. The oncologist had called in an RX for the med so we will pick it up today. It’s amazing how one’s outlook on life is altered between intense, extended pain and then virtually no pain. I feel like I’m really living again. I woke up at 8am this morning and feel great. I’ll take the anti-nausea pills over the next couple of days as directed. When Shannon gets up we will go to breakfast (I ate very little yesterday – crackers mostly) cuz I feel hungry again. Then we will go to the post office to get the mail, then to Lowe’s to purchase a Weed Whacker so my son can tackle those pesky weeds, and to the pharmacy to pick up that RX. Then I hope to feel good enough to get into my sewing studio and finish up one UFO (quilting speak for UnFinished Object) and start a new kit.
Tomorrow we are going to Betty’s for Easter dinner. Shannon is making his famous deviled eggs and Lindsay is making her equally famous Chinese Chicken Salad. Shannon took Monday off so he could stay later tomorrow night and not worry about being able to get up at 4:30am on Monday to go to work.
So hopefully I will be feeling good so I can enjoy being with family and friends for this holiday weekend.
Happy Easter to all and thank you again for your continued encouragement, support and love!
Hugs,
Dar
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Tuesday 04/12/11
I received good news yesterday. My CA125 (the way they measure how the ovarian CA is responding to treatment) is down to 53! When I was first diagnosed in December it was 204, after the surgery it was 143, before my first chemo it was 102. It is definitely on the way down. The magic number is 35. Anything under that is the goal, with as close to 0 as possible. I am hoping I will only need to have the 6 recommended treatments. I am scheduled for the 4th treatment on April 22. When I first went to the oncologist, he said it would probably be 9 to 12 treatments. Sure would be nice if he was wrong!
I’m feeling better this week. I have more energy and I’m able to do more. I still have to take frequent breaks, especially if I’m on my feet for a while. But definitely better than last week. J
Hugs to all of you!
Dar
Friday, April 8, 2011
Friday 04/08/11
These past several days have been a challenge. As good as I felt over the weekend, Monday through Thurs were pretty tough. I had absolutely no energy and just felt weak. I pretty much sat in my chair and read. Not even enough energy to go into my sewing studio. I seem to feel a bit better today…at least this morning. Apparently it is a cumulative effect of the chemo. The more treatments I have, the longer the recoup time.
Lindsay and I went to the oncologist’s office yesterday. My blood work came back with decent numbers. They drew the CA125 and I should have that number today or Monday. That will tell how the chemo is working toward its goal of reducing the bad cells.
We discussed trying the Taxol again. The oncologist is going to put through the referral for me to have it done as an outpatient at the hospital. He does not want to risk a repeat of the first time in his office. If I tolerate the drug in the hospital, then they will do it again in the office three weeks later. My next chemo appt is on April 22.
I had a genetic test (Broca’s) to see if I had the CA gene that was hereditary and might cause other reproductive CAs and it came back negative. It proves the point that the CA I have is environmental. My lifestyle and stress level were the primary factors that led me down this road.
I’m planning to go over to Cristy’s house today so she can help me with the corners on my fair quilt. Glad I’m feeling better.
Hugs to you all!
Dar
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Sunday 04/03/11
I had chemo on Friday with no ill effects thus far. Shannon and I went to breakfast yesterday, ran a bunch of errands, saw the movie “Hop” (Really cute…I ate a jumbo popcorn plus some of Shannon’s jumbo popcorn) and went to the market. I felt good all day. I took the anti-nausea meds so I’m sure that helped. I’m feeling good again this morning. Shannon and I are planning our favorite date this afternoon. Early dinner at Steer ‘N Stein and then browsing through Barnes and Noble.
I made an appointment to see the oncologist for this Thursday. The surgeon at UCI as well as a number of other doctors Lindsay has talked to all say that the experience I had with the first chemo treatment was not an anaphylactic reaction. My symptoms were classic vasovagal reaction that would not be in response to the chemo meds. The surgeon at UCI was pretty insistent that I try the first med again. He said it was the primary chemo med recommended for ovarian ca. Lindsay and I are going to talk to the oncologist about trying the first chemo drug again. So we shall see. Also the bladder problems I have been having are a common reaction to the drug I’m currently on.
I picked up the wig last weekend but so far, even though my hair is thinning, it is still full enough to go natural. But I’d rather have the wig and not need it, than need it and not have it.
I quilted my fair entry and machine sewed the binding on. I have to have Cristy help me with the corners. Seems I have trouble with those pesky corners every time. After I get the corners done I can hand sew the binding and my one San Bernardino Fair quilt entry will be ready to turn in on April 15.
I guess that is all for now. I’ll post again after the oncologist appointment on Thursday.
Hugs to you all!
Dar
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Saturday 03//26/11
I’ve been feeling pretty good these days. Except for the symptoms of what I thought was a bladder infection that I have been dealing with since Jan. I have been on four different antibiotics with no results. The last culture and sensitivity that was done this past Monday was negative so there is no infection. I have an ultrasound of the bladder and kidneys scheduled for next Tuesday. Once that is cleared up, I will feel almost “normal” again.
I’ve been working in my sewing studio and starting to finish some quilting projects that are almost done but need applique or quilting and binding. I have one quilt that I will be entering into the fair this year. I still need to quilt and bind it. I’m going over to Cristy’s house today so she can help me put the back together. Perhaps I can get it quilted next week.
I’ve been working on my dissertation as well. I think I have one student to interview next week. He will be the first one.
I have been trying to keep as active as possible. Sitting in my chair stewing about my health does no good and much harm. I drive myself to my appointments and to shop. Lindsay still takes me to chemo. I have my next chemo appointment on April 1.
I’m eating well and for the most part am in good spirits.
Again, I thank all of you for your continued support, encouragement, and love.
Hugs,
Dar
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Thursday 03/17/11
This has been kind of a tough week. Had chemo last Friday and a blood transfusion on Tuesday. I haven’t had any nausea or vomiting (good meds) but I just generally feel weak and blah.
On Monday, Lindsay and I went to a hair place and I ordered a wig. I still have my own hair but it is getting thinner and thinner. I was ok with it while I was trying on wigs and when I ordered it. But later Monday night I was pretty emotional about it. Thanks to Shannon and his patience I was able to stop the crying jag and get to sleep.
After we did the wig store, Lindsay took me down to UCI for my post op. The doc said everything is healing nicely and I don’t have to see him for 3 months.
On Tuesday, Betty picked me up from the house at 7am and took me for my blood transfusion. She stayed the whole day except for when she went to get us Subway sandwiches and to pick up SkipBo and Uno cards. We played cards all afternoon and it made the time go so much faster. Thank you, Betty! They started the transfusion at around 10am and it finished about 3:30pm. I had two units. My hemoglobin went from 8.3 prior to the transfusion to 10.7 after. Still low as 12.0 is the low end of normal, but much better. The chemo does not discriminate between good cells and bad cells. It just kills all of them. But it takes less time for the good cells to grow back so hopefully after chemo is over the good cells will take over and I’ll be healthy again.
Tuesday evening Sean and Cory came by to visit and to make dinner. I guess I was pretty tired cuz I fell asleep in my chair a couple of times while they were here. It was really great to see them.
I have been concerned about taking a shower alone in the house, but yesterday I got it done with just a text to Shannon telling him when I was getting in and when I got out. Then I got in my car and went to the pharmacy and the store. I was really tired and weak when I got home but I was feeling good that I was able to begin to do more things independently.
Lindsay and Wes are supposed to be here today. Wes takes care of the critters and some of the outside chores and Lindsay will be doing some housecleaning.
Tomorrow I go for a blood test at the oncologist’s office and then I’ll go hang out with Lindsay at her house for a while. I have a massage in the afternoon. I went to the acupuncturist to talk about treatment; however he suggested I wait until chemo is over. Said I have too many things going on physically to start acupuncture now. So the massage will help to get the body fluids moving and balancing for the time being.
So that’s my week so far. Seems like it’s been 2 weeks long. I’m hoping next week is better.
Hugs,
Dar
Monday, March 14, 2011
For Sunday 03/13/11
Yesterday was pretty uneventful. I took the nausea meds as prescribed and had no problems there. Just feel like I have heartburn. I was able to eat enough and I did most of the laundry. Still have towels to finish. I can do a little at a time and then I feel a bit light headed so I go and sit for a while.
Today (Monday) I go to the outpatient dept of the hospital up here to get type and cross matched for the blood transfusion tomorrow. After the outpatient visit today, Lindsay is taking me to my final post op visit with the doc down at UCI.
Betty is taking me to the outpatient center tomorrow at 8:30am for the blood transfusion. She will drop me off and then run her errands. It will be later in the day when she picks me up. I’ll bring the SkipBo cards in case they let her back with me to hang out.
That’s about all for now.
Hugs,
Dar
Sunday, March 13, 2011
For Saturday 03/12/11
Yesterday was not that bad. I took the nausea meds as prescribed and these seemed to take care of any symptoms. I was able to play in my sewing studio for a couple of hours in the afternoon before getting really tired and weak. I was able to eat, which is always a good thing. It seems that the evening times are more difficult. I guess my energy level peaks in the afternoon and loses steam in the evening. I try to watch fun movies or read a fun book to keep my mind off of the discomfort. Shannon introduced me to Angry Birds, a game on my phone, so I’ll play that as an added distraction.
Tomorrow I go for my finial post op visit with the doctor at UCI.
That’s about all to report for now.
Hugs,
Dar
Friday, March 11, 2011
Friday 03/11/11
Chemo was uneventful today. Yeah! Arrived at 8:30 and left about 3:30. My hemoglobin went up from 8.3 to 8.4 so at least it is going up. I have to go to the outpatient unit of the hospital on Monday to do a type and cross match and then Lindsay is taking me down to UCI for my final post op visit with the surgeon. On Tuesday, Betty is taking me to the outpatient unit so I can have 2 units of a blood transfusion. I guess it takes 3-4 hours per unit so it will be another long day. But Lindsay is working that day so she can come down from the ICU and visit with me throughout the day. She said I will feel a whole lot better after the transfusion. I feel pretty good right now. My potassium was a bit low so Lindsay has ordered me to eat a banana a day. J My albumin was up to 3.4 so it has almost doubled. It is still under the “normal” parameters but as long as I keep the protein intake up I should be ok. Oh! And the CA125 was 102! Normal is under 35 but when I was first diagnosed it was 204 and after surgery it was 143. So it is going in the right direction.
That’s about all for now. Hugs to everyone!
Dar
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Thursday 03/10/11
I understand now why I’ve been so tired. Lindsay took me to the oncologist’s office for the Wed blood tests prior to the Friday chemo and my hemoglobin was down to 8.3. It’s supposed to be above 12. So I’m anemic. After the chemo on Friday I will probably have to have a blood transfusion next week. Yesterday I was given a shot of Procrit, which is supposed to stimulate the growth of red blood cells. If it does its job, I might not have to have as many blood transfusions.
If the chemo is killing off the red blood cells it means it is also killing off the cancer cells so I need to be grateful that it is working and take these setbacks as they come.
The schedule goes…on the Wed before the Fri chemo I have blood tests…Fri is chemo…the next Fri I have blood tests…the next Fri I have blood tests…the next Wed I have blood tests…and then Fri I have chemo. Chemo is every 3 weeks with blood tests every week.
I went to my quilt guild meeting on Tuesday night. Betty picked me up and we had dinner with some of the members and the speaker. I was really tired after the meeting ended at 9pm but I was so glad to see so many wonderful friends.
Today I will get my stuff together for tomorrow. I have to be at the oncologist’s office at 8:30am and will probably not be done until 3 or 4 in the afternoon. So I need to bring things to do, my quilt from my friendship group, and snacks and drinks for the day. Lindsay will drop me off and then come back and pick me up. Today I also need to hem a pair of pants for Shannon and if I feel up to it I may try to work in my sewing studio. Wes came over yesterday and spent the night. He will be leaving this morning to go back down to Long Beach. He said he will be back on Sunday.
On Monday, Lindsay will be taking me back down to UCI for a final post op check-up with the surgeon. Tomorrow is 7 weeks since the surgery.
Hugs to all of you!
Dar
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Sunday 03/06/11
Friday after I posted I really started to go stir crazy. I had been housebound for almost a week. I called Lindsay and asked her to come over. I was so tired of being alone and I finally understood the meaning of being bored. So she came and picked me up. It felt so good to be out of the house and in the beautiful sunshine. We went to Target for about an hour and a half. I had to sit down three times to rest, but it was good for me to be out. We went to Lindsay’s house and while she went to pick up Taylor from school, I sat outside and enjoyed the beautiful weather. Taylor had an after school function so Lindsay came back by herself. We went into the house and just talked. We left her house around 4 and stopped at the pharmacy to pick up an rx and then home. Shannon was home at 5:30. It is so great to have him home that early. At his other job he wouldn’t get home until around 7:30. Now he leaves an hour later in the morning and gets home 2 hours earlier at night. Friday ended up being a really good day.
Yesterday was an even better day! I drove for the first time in a couple of months. Shannon and I went to lunch and I almost finished the whole meal. Then we went to a quilting store in Apple Valley so I could get some light fabric for the mystery quilt my quilt guild is doing, and then we went through the car wash. By the time we got home I was really tired but excited. I now feel confident to drive by myself. It gives me a huge sense of independence. Last night I ate almost a full serving of spaghetti and some salad. It feels so good to get hungry and then actually be able to eat a decent size meal.
Wes is supposed to be here today to take care of cat chores and a few other things this morning. Shannon and I may go out later this afternoon (I’ll drive J) to the store to get a few things.
Hugs to all of you!
Dar
Friday, March 4, 2011
Friday 03/04/11
Today is 6 weeks since the surgery. I am still a bit sore but I am moving around with no problems. Still feel weak and I get tired quickly. But yesterday I did two loads of laundry, emptied and filled the dishwasher, worked on my dissertation research, looked through my stash for fabric to start the Pine Needles Mystery Quilt, cut some fabric and then decided against the combinations, and made spaghetti for dinner. That was probably the most productive day I have had thus far. I do something and then need to sit down and rest, go to the next thing…sit down and rest. I know the more I do, the more I’ll be able to do. I have two more loads of laundry to do today and hope to get into my sewing studio for a while this afternoon.
Next Wednesday I go to the oncologist to do blood work and then next Friday will be my 2nd Chemo treatment (with new drugs).
I continue to feel your encouragement, support, and love. I am so grateful to have your thoughts and prayers.
Hugs,
Dar
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Thursday 03/03/11
Not much to write about. Some days are better than others but mostly every day I feel better. I’m concentrating on eating. I don’t want to lose any more weight. I also have more energy when I eat enough. But that continues to be a challenge.
That’s about all for now.
Hugs,
Dar
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Saturday 02/26/11
After dealing with that hacking dry cough for several months, the answer seems to have appeared in a humidifier. Since having that running in the bedroom the past couple of nights, the cough has all but disappeared. One more symptom gone. Yeah!
Now I need to work on the eating again. Yesterday I hardly ate anything. Nothing sounded good and as hard as Shannon tried to tempt me with a variety of foods, I just couldn’t seem to get much down. When we were out doing errands we stopped at IHOP as my usual favorite is Pigs in a Blanket. I was able to eat one but then I was done. We brought the rest home and although I tried to eat another one last night, I could only get down half. Looks like I’m going to have to start taking the nausea medicine so I can have an appetite. According to the scale at the doctor’s office yesterday, I have lost another 5lbs.
Going to just hunker down and watch the snow today. It feels good to be relatively pain and symptom free.
Hugs to all,
Dar
Friday, February 25, 2011
Friday 02/25/11
Today is 5 weeks since the surgery. I’ve been trying to ease my body into being able to sleep on my side at night. I can be in that position for a few minutes before I have to roll back over to my back. A friend who has/is going through a similar situation said by 8 weeks post-surgery she was able to sleep on her side all night. More patience practice for me.
Lindsay took me to the oncologist’s office on Tuesday to discuss alternative chemo drugs since I had such an adverse reaction to the one on Feb 18. He didn’t have any answers that day, but on Thursday I received a call from the nurse saying they were going to change the protocol and give me two different chemo drugs. I will still be on the every 3 week schedule. (The oncologist had mentioned that some of the protocols were every week.) So my next chemo appointment is March 11. I have to go in on March 9 to have my labs done, but that will only take a few minutes.
I have had some challenges with prescriptions, I think because some of them were given by the doctors in the hospital and now I need my primary doc to refill them. So I have an appointment today with my primary doc. I need to bring in all the meds I’m taking so he has a clear picture of what exactly I’m taking. Shannon is off work today so he will be taking me.
We had such a nice day yesterday. Shannon was home before noon and in the afternoon we ran some errands, went to the pharmacy twice, and even had an early dinner at Denny’s. It felt so good to be out of the house and doing normal things like having dinner out. It was the first time in a couple of months that Shannon and I had been out to dinner or any other meal. My appetite is still not great so I wanted to go somewhere easy, quiet, and predictable. We sat at talked for a long time. I savored being out and not having a focus on the health issues.
While we were at the pharmacy, we bought a super duper humidifier. That was going in the bedroom all night and I was cough free. I’m hoping that the dry air has been the culprit all along and now that there is moisture in the air the cough will be gone.
Thank you all for your continued support, encouragement, and love.
Hugs,
Dar
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Tuesday 02/22/11
Today is a good day. I’m able to eat, get around, and feel pretty good. Wes was here most of the day taking care of chores around the house. He went to the store and picked up some needed items and he went to the post office for me. He is really a huge help and I so appreciate his visits.
Lindsay took me to the oncologist today but we don’t know any more than we did when we arrived. It appears that either today or tomorrow I’ll get a call letting me know when the next chemo treatment will be. There are other drugs that can be used instead of the one that caused me the problem last Friday. But they may be given on a different schedule. So we shall see. I was weighed today and since December I have lost 36lbs. Not a diet I’d recommend and I have to make a point to eat, especially high protein foods. I don’t want to get anemic.
I took care of some business with my district paycheck and the disability insurance. It appears that as of today the disability company still had not reviewed the claim even though they have had it since Jan 25. I know they had some office closures during the weather back east. But I told them today that the 1st is right around the corner and I need to know what the bottom line will look like. So they are supposed to get back to me tomorrow. If not, I’ll have to be that squeaky wheel.
Thank you for the cards, emails, support and encouragement.
Hugs,
Dar
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