Sunday 01/30/11

I was able to get out of bed twice, once at 3am and once at 6am all by myself. Yesterday morning I had to text Lindsay to help me to sit up. So more progress. I had not taken any of my meds yesterday morning and around 10am I had a major panic attack. I was freezing, had no appetite, and was in pain. I felt this overwhelming sense of fear, panic, and non-generalized anxiety. I was crying and could not pin point any specific cause. Lindsay was so amazing. She got me up and put the walker in front of me. I stood at the door crying, not knowing why. As soon as I got outside the breeze and sun washed away the panic. We walked around her driveway about 3-4 times. By the time we were done I was calm and collected. It really brought home the necessity of keeping up with the meds. I took them at the correct times all day and felt great. It is still painful to get up and down but at least I can do it independently.

Shannon came over yesterday and brought me an electric blanket for the living room so I can stay warm. He also brought a bunch of other stuff for my comfort. He is such an amazing husband. He has his own health issues and is in pain a lot himself, but he never hesitates to do what he can to make me more comfortable. Such love and devotion. I am constantly reminded how fortunate I am to have such caring, loving, and compassionate friends and family.

I go tomorrow to have the staples removed. I look like I have a zipper on my abdomen. Then on Thursday I have an appointment with the oncologist to get treatment scheduled. Probably won’t start chemo for a few weeks to give the surgery time to heal.

Today I spent watching tv and napping. Lindsay had grocery shopping to do so I watched old “I Dream of Jeannie” and “Bewitched”. I have not just sat and watched tv like that in years. It is good for me to not have pressing things to do.  Lindsay and I watched ‘UP’ and “Despicable Me” this evening.

Lindsay made tacos for dinner and I was able to eat two of them. That was the biggest dinner I’ve had since the surgery. They were so good!

I am not ready for visitors as yet. I so appreciate the emails and blog comments but I need a couple more weeks to heal from the surgery before I feel like I’ll have the energy for actual visits. Every day is better than the day before and I think in a couple of weeks I’ll be ready. I’ll keep you updated.

Hugs to you all and again, thank you for all the support and encouragement.

Dar

   

Fri 01/28/11

I'M HOME!!!!

Well, technically I’m at Lindsay’s but close enough. After my report on Wed, the nose tube did indeed come out. WHAT A RELIEF!!! Breathing again became the number one thing to be grateful for. Don’t ever think you can get any rest in the hospital. About every 2 hours, especially at night, someone was putting some medication in to me, taking blood out, measuring vital signs, or getting me up to go to the bathroom. Yesterday morning one of the young doctors on the team said I might be going home but they wanted to get an ultrasound of my belly before letting me go. That was at 5:30am. They finally picked me up for the ultrasound at almost 7pm last night.

 I was pretty bummed because I had so wanted to come home yesterday. But everything happens for a reason. I was talking to the gal who does the ultrasounds and told her about how suddenly this health challenge changed my life after never having been sick with anything major before. She asked me to wait a minute and went out of the ultrasound room. She came back with one of those river rocks you can buy at a gift shop. This one had the word “Strength” on it with some kind of symbol. She said she had been dealing with some health issues of her own and found this rock in one of the shops on Balboa Island. She had been holding it and repeating the mantra, “Strength to be strong, Strength to believe. Strength to be healed.” She then gave me the rock. I was completely and totally blown away. Here this stranger, offered me a gift that she can never know how much it meant, and means to me. She said that one day I will no longer need that rock and when that day happens I should pass it along to someone who does. If I hadn’t waited until that moment to have the ultrasound, I would have missed such an amazing experience.

Then the nurse that had been on two of the nights I had been there came after her shift, around 8:30pm, just to give me a hug goodbye as she would not be there today. There were so many acts of kindness, gentleness, generosity, and sincere desire to be of service by the staff at UCI. I honor the nurses, techs, CNAs, and housekeepers for all of their dedication and devotion to patients. They are truly a unique breed of humanity.

Lindsay had stayed until 6pm last night to see if I was going home but she had to get home. Shannon stayed with me until just after 9pm. Then he headed home. I guess about 15 minutes into his drive home he collided with something in the road and ended up with a flat tire and the front of the Jetta messed up. Fortunately he is ok but by the time the tow truck arrived and all that that entails, he didn’t get home until 1:30am.

This morning I was again told I’d be going home today, but then there just seemed to be one hurdle after the next. My potassium was low (probably due to the Lasix) so they wanted me to take that. It was a really large dose and the pharmacist was not willing to give it to me all at once. So it would have been hours to do it the slow way. A compromise was made and I just took half there. We were able to get on the road around 2pm. The sun was out and shining bright and it felt like radiant beams were warming my face while I waited for Lindsay to pull the car around. Now I’m sitting in the recliner writing in total and complete silence. Such bliss! No beeping, footsteps, curtains being drawn, voices, or doors being closed and open. Just lovely quiet.

So that is about it for now. I’m going to put my head back and just relish being in this non hospital environment. Shannon will be over later. Lindsay is going to make tuna/noodle casserole at my request. This morning I actually ate some cereal and at lunch I had an appetite for the chicken Caesar salad at lunch. Feels good to want to eat.

Oh, and I'm putting out a dire request to you and anyone you might know who might be interested. About a year and a half ago we rescued 3 male Chihuahuas. The intent was to find homes for them. Now with this health challenge, we need to either find homes for them or we will need to take them to a no kill shelter. If you know anyone who would give a good home to one of these bundles of love, please contact Shannon or me or leave a comment on the blog. We can give you detailed info about personalities, etc. All are fixed and up to date with shots.

Night all!    Hugs, Dar   

Wednesday 1/26/11

Hi folIowers!

I seem to be back among the typing again. I'm really tired. But I'm moving around independently more of the time. The big news today is that I was able to pee all by myself. No bag! I know... it’s the small things. In addition to that, I can now do what ladylike types try never to do, or at least certainly don't talk about it .Since it is part of the healing process and will get this annoying tube out of my stomach and nose I'm happy to announce that I, several times today, passed gas. With those credentials I hope to get that tube out tonight.

I had a few bites of some unidentified jello, a couple of sips of apple juice, and a few spoonfuls of chicken broth. Little by little. Soon I’ll be eating semi-solid food!

It seems to come down to really being mindful of the many things I have concentrated on over my life, as well as the many I have ignored. More quilt kits, notions, and fabric, more degrees, more challenges, constantly moving and getting involved with events, people, and organizations. And now I am brought to a point where elimination, eating, breathing, and enjoying the company of loving family and friends has become paramount.

Love you all,

Thanks for sharing this journey with me.

Hugs,

Dar

Tuesday 1/25/11

I had to be back at work today. Dar was pretty tired out by the time I arrived this evening. They had to reinsert the gastric tube to remove the fluid from her stomach that wasn’t traveling the way it should. The Foley catheter remains in place, so she isn’t as comfortable as she might be but she is hanging tough.

I understand that Lindsay had her walk about 5 laps around the ward this afternoon; probably about 300 feet a lap, so that was a pretty good walk. Wes was also there most of the day so she had lots of company.

She is using a lot less medication, so she is getting an handle on the pain. The porta-cath has given her a lot of relief, no more sticking her at all hours of the day and night. I think that hurt her more than the surgery.

Not much of an update, I know. I was only able to see her for about an hour and she was pretty tuckered out. She has a little stuffed dog, Bridget, that stays on the bed with her (don’t recognize her without a dog on her lap). She and the dog were resting comfortably when I left.

Monday 1/24/11

Dar was up and walking around with Lindsay today. She didn't like it much; she is still in a goodly amount of pain from the incision, fluid accumulation and cramping in the abdominal muscles. They took her off of even a liquid diet and she isn't allowed any fluids at all until she starts processing them the way she should.....

Despite that, she is looking much better and is much more alert, if a little less comfortable.

Her surgeon was in to see her today; I wish I could remember his name because it is worthy of mention. He didn’t seem real concerned about the lack of bowel activity; he says sometimes it takes a few days for the body to sort itself out after the surgical trauma.

Hopefully she will be able to fill in the blanks tomorrow and get back to telling her story. I have to be back to work tomorrow but Lindsay and Wes will be able to spend time with her.

Pinkey Warriors, I read your Monday update to her. :) She loves you all.

Sunday 1/23/11

Dar was on her feet a little today, not long, just enough to move to a chair and back. She did that twice. The physical therapist was in and gave her some exercises she can do in bed. No bowel noises yet so she remains on a liquid diet.

The staff seems to be content to let Lindsay do everything except administer drugs and IV fluids. Lindsay spends most of her time there so Dar is getting real good care.

The plan is to get Dar walking around some today and getting her to tolerate and work through more pain than before. She won't have that little green button to push every few minutes at home, so she needs to get used to being in some discomfort (that’s what they call pain) before she comes home.

It appears that 3 - 5 days was a bit optimistic. Maybe sometime later in this week we can bring her home.

Oh yeah.... I found her glasses!!

Saturday 01/22/11

What a great room Dar has in the ICU!  It’s huge and private with a picture window, a couch and probably the most comfortable chair I’ve ever sat in. We heard today that it’s a brand new building which explains the working automatic doors, great cafeteria and the rules that you can’t have food or drink anyplace but in the great cafeteria.  

  She was able to talk on the phone a bit today and had a few bites of what they serve for clear liquid diets.  She didn’t like it and I suspected she was just being finicky, so I tried it and I’m on her side. Pretty bad beef broth, she ate the popsicle before I could taste it, so I guess it was ok.  There was jello and some sort of frozen ice cream stuff.  What it lacked in sustenance it made up for in pretty colors.

 I didn’t see a doctor all day, apparently they take weekends off.  I did hear the nurse talking to the doctor on the telephone and passing on Dar’s wishes and getting permission to remove hoses, tubes and such.  Lindsay is pretty adamant that she get on her feet and start moving around.  Dar is pretty adamant that she lay still for a bit longer because it hurts.  Tomorrow we will see who wins.  I won’t take any bets. 

The comments here, along with the Facebook posts and the email are really wonderful.  She can see some of them on her cell phone, or could if I hadn’t lost her glasses….  As soon as she gets to her regular room she will be able to use her laptop again.  She does have her cellphone and if she is awake and has sufficient energy she will answer.  If I find her glasses, she can even initiate telephone calls, so if she doesn’t answer, leave a message… J

Regards, 

Shannon

Friday 01/21/11

Dar had her surgery this morning.  We had to leave the house at 3 am to ensure our arrival at UC Irvine Medical Center by 5:30 am.  Lindsay and Wes caravanned down with us and thanks to fairly light traffic at the beginning of the commute time, we arrived a bit early.  The medical center staff was just terrific from the moment we arrived, throughout the surgery and aftercare.  They even had a valet park my car.

Dar went into surgery at about 7:45 and was on the table for around 5 hours.  As it turned out, the cancer has been around for a while and not the short time we had hoped for.  In addition to the girl parts they also had to remove part of her colon and a pretty good amount of tissue.  The cancer was pretty spread out, but no other organs were affected.  It was just sort of a weed patch of cancer cell, around the organs, but not inside.  They were able to patch the missing length of colon, so the system is intact without any need for alternate waste disposal methods. 

She remains in the recovery room, for now, receiving the same attention she would in the Intensive Care Unit which is full.  She may be placed in a regular room tomorrow.  The wounds from the PortaCath are not healed yet so they had to poke her a number of times in the normal manner.

Lindsay, Wes and I were able to see her for a few short periods.  She is in good spirits, well medicated and stunning with her new haircut J…  The staff was wonderful in their care for her and us.

Chemotherapy will begin in 4 or 5 weeks when she has recovered from this event.  The surgeon says they were able to remove 98% of the cancerous material, so the outlook is still positive that she will make a complete recovery.

R,

Shannon Mossman

Wednesday 01/19/11 cont

Looks like the surgery is scheduled on Friday 11/21 @ 7:15am. We will be leaving here around 3:30am to get to UCI by the 5:30 check in time.

Tomorrow is liquid diet and system clean out. I'll be taking antibiotics to clear up a urinary tract infection starting tonight. Have to be on those for 3 days.

I feeling pretty good. A bit anxious, but I know that the doctors and nurses at UCI are top notch and I will be in the best of hands. And I know I will have all of your prayers and good thoughts whispering through my subconscious throughout the surgery and as I awake. Your support and encouragement mean so much.
Hugs,
Dar

Wednesday 01/19/11

Even though I had just had a paracentesis on Wed, by Saturday I felt so uncomfortably full again that Shannon took me to the ER. It was the first bad experience I’d had at St. Mary’s. The doctor was not helpful and made the difficult situation worse. He tried twice to get fluid and failed. He ended up discharging me with a prescription for Adivan for anxiety.

When I had been discharged from the hospital in December, they gave me a prescription that is about 10 times stronger than morphine. I didn’t feel that I was in that much pain so I tried to control it with Motrin and Tylenol. But when the abdominal pressure began to raise, those pain remedies did not take care of the pain. That brought on an anxiety/panic attack.  So for Sunday and Monday I was mostly in a haze. I slept a lot and between the two meds I was not too terribly uncomfortable.

Yesterday morning, Lindsay took me to get my hair cut. The stylist put my hair into a ponytail so that there were 10 inches to be cut off. That is the minimum for donation to Locks for Love. Two snips and it was gone. My hair is still shoulder length and I am happy with the way it turned out. As much as I thought it would be a big deal, it really wasn’t. Perhaps the next cut will be harder as that one will be right before chemo.

After the hair appointment, I had a scheduled paracentesis. He was able to drain 3.6 liters this time. It is such a relief to have that fluid out. This should be the last one because the surgery on Friday will hopefully take care of the cause of the fluid buildup.

My PET scan came back showing containment of cancer cells in my ovaries and peritoneum. No other organs are involved. That is a GOOD thing! 

I’m taking it easy today. My back is in need of a good massage, so I will make a trip up to Robin’s to take care of that. It is hard for me to lay on my back, impossible to lie on my stomach, and due to the porta-cath incisions on both shoulders, I can’t lie on either side. So she will probably do most of the massage with me in a chair. Whatever works! I sleep every night in my recliner as it is the most comfortable.

Tomorrow I start the prep for the surgery. Don’t have a time as yet as to when we need to be at UCI. Should get a call today.

I’ll keep you posted.

Hugs, Dar  

Saturday 01/15/11

Yesterday (Fri) was another full day. I took Shannon to his doctor’s appointment at 8:30 and then went and had some breakfast. I had to be fasting 6 hours before the porta-cath so I wanted to have a good breakfast that would last. As usual I ate less than half of it. But I took the remaining amount “to go” so Shannon could have it later. I went back and picked Shannon up and we headed up to the chiropractor to have my neck adjusted. All this sitting, lying down, and body changes, puts a few vertebra out of whack. Shannon still hadn’t eaten so we went to the lab to have his labs drawn.

I was originally scheduled to be at the hospital at 12:30, then then they postponed it to 1:30, then to 3:30 and finally to 4:30. I didn’t actually go in to surgery until 8pm. The procedure was supposed to take about an hour but due to problems the doctor had with finding a suitable vein it took 4 hours. He cut on the right side first, and then had to go to the left side. He puts one cut right where the shoulder meets the chest and another cut on the side of my neck. He was finally able to get it into my juggler vein. I was under general anesthetic so it took time for recovery. Huge tip for anyone who wears makeup. Any time you even think you might have general anesthetic, make sure you don’t go into surgery with eye makeup on. When I came out of the anesthetic I couldn’t open my left eye. Felt like there was sand in it. Apparently some mascara worked its way under my eyelid and with my eyes taped shut during the surgery and I ended up with an abrasion on my upper eye. OUCH! We didn’t get home until 3:30am this morning. I hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast the day before so I was really hungry. The recovery nurse told me to take it easy so Shannon made some chicken broth for me when we got home. I slept in my recliner. I woke up around 8:30am.

I feel rather beat up today. It is difficult to move my arms and swallowing makes my neck hurt. My eye no longer hurts but the ascites is making it difficult to breathe again. I just had a paracentesis on Wed but it appears I’ll have to go back to the ER and have another one. Not sure if I can even wait until tomorrow.

There was a lot of blood in my hair so Shannon had to wash it. He took his time to comb out all the tangles and it didn’t even hurt. He has been so wonderful. It is very difficult for someone as independent as me to feel so helpless. I hate feeling like a burden. But both Shannon and Lindsay have done whatever has been necessary for me. And trust me, there have been experiences I never would have dreamed I would be sharing with my daughter or husband. I am very grateful and fortunate to have both of them.

Thursday 01/13/11

I haven’t written much the past couple of days so I’m going to go back and fill in.

The cancer cells on my peritoneum create inflammation, which in turn causes fluid to be created. The fluid (ascites) just keeps building in my abdomen until I have to go have it drained (paracentesis). Last Thursday 01/06/11 they drained off 3.5 liters of fluid. When I am at that point it feels like a steel band is wrapped around my upper abdomen, making breathing and eating very uncomfortable. The fluid pushes up against my diaphragm so I am only able to take relatively shallow breaths and it also pushes against my stomach so I’m only able to eat a couple of bites of food. Eating much of anything makes it feel even more full and uncomfortable.

This past Tuesday I was at that point again. First, I thought I’d explain what a PET scan is for anyone who doesn’t know and might be interested. The day before the test, Monday, I had only a diet of meat and cheese. No carbs and no sugar. I could have nothing but water after midnight Monday night. After checking in on Tuesday, I filled out a bunch of papers with a coordinator and then she had me drink 16oz of, what I think was Gatorade, with some potion in it. It really was pretty good. But the liquid continued to add to my discomfort with the ascites. Then a very nice man came and took me into a room with a recliner. He explained what he was going to do very patiently and thoroughly. He said that cancer cells are attracted to sugar. By eliminating the carbs and sugars the day before, the cancer cells were hungry for sugar. So the Gatorade potion would cause the cancer cells to light up on the scan. He put an IV needle into the back of my right hand and injected some saline. Then he went and got a metal box that contained a syringe. It has radioactive medium in it and that was injected into the IV tube. Then I just sat for 45 minutes to let that circulate throughout my body. He came and took me into the scanner room. The PET scanner is longer than a CT scanner (which is like a big donut), but not as long as an MRI scanner. Being as full of the ascites as I was, lying down flat on my back extremely uncomfortable. It felt like I was drowning. But after a few minutes of internal mental cheerleading, I was able to calm down and concentrate on the fact that I could still breathe, even though it was shallow. He had me cross my arms over my head and for 28 minutes the table slid back and forth, in and out, so that different parts could be scanned. I was on the edge of panic a few times due to the breathing issue, but I called on all of the mental resources I have developed over the years, especially during the past 4.5 years of my PhD program at the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology (ITP). I focused on the breath, mentally saying Ho on the in breath and Hum on the outbreath. When my head was either out of, or close to being out of the tube at different times I would feel the cool air and imagine myself flying over beautiful countryside. At one point, I even mentally chanted (thinking of you, Cheryl). Then it was over and the tech gave me oatmeal cookies and some juice. Since all of this started, my desire for anything sweet is gone so I was grateful when I got out to the waiting room and Lindsay had brought me KFC. I was so hungry but only able to eat a few bites.

That evening was really difficult. I was so hungry but knew that every bite made my breathing more difficult. I thought about my wise mentor, Mark Brady, who said to ask “what do you love, and what do you love more?” At that point breathing was getting my vote. I tried to sleep in the bed (I’m at Lindsay’s so I have Taylor’s bed) and even with my regular sleep meds was only able to sleep until 1am. Then I got up and sat on the recliner in the living room, counting the hours. Lindsay and I took Taylor to school and then headed to the ER. I had an appointment for another paracentesis for Friday, but I knew I would not make it till then. It not busy so they got me in right away. They did an ultrasound to see where the pockets of fluid had accumulated. The doctor numbed the area and then pushed a catheter through the peritoneal wall. A needle is inserted into a vacuum bottle and then the fluid drains. He did not think there would be too much, but 3.2 liters ended up being drained. Although the procedure is not comfortable, after it is done I feel terrific. I can take full breaths of air and I can eat! I had to drink a lot of water as I had become dehydrated during my time of limiting what I put in my stomach. Lindsay took me to a restaurant and I had half a tuna melt sandwich. Talk about mindfulness eating! Every mouthful was an explosion of flavors and textures. I chewed and chewed with my eyes closed just savoring each and every bite. To eat and breathe...I will never take those things for granted again. I already have another appointment for the same procedure for next Tuesday.

We then picked up Taylor from school and dropped her at her friend’s house. On to the next appointment of getting my pre-op labs done. I had blood drawn at the hospital, but the doc at UCI (who will be doing my surgery next week) wanted more tests than my visit at the ER warranted. So we went to the lab and found that they could do all of the tests except the “type and screen.” We called another lab across the street and they could do that test, however they were not contracted with my HMO. So we called UCI and they said that if I couldn’t get it done before, I could arrive early on the day of surgery and they would do it there. So other than that one test, I was done with the labs. I had had a chest x-ray on Tuesday for the pre-op, but then yesterday at the ER they had me do another one.

On Friday I will be having a porta-cath insertion. This is a catheter that will be inserted in my upper right chest and into a vein, right about where the shoulder and chest meet. The catheter will have skin covering it and will just be a small round protrusion. This allows the chemo to be administered into a much larger vein than on the hand and arm. Also when I’m in the hospital next week I won’t have to get stuck so many times as they can draw blood and put IV fluids into that porta-cath. Yesterday, I had a consultation with that surgeon. I was so relieved to know that I would be given meds that although they would not knock me out completely, would put me in a twilight sleep. If any of you have had an EGD or colonoscopy…that is the kind of sedation I will get. I had been so afraid that it was going to just be under local. Yea! So I can eat, breathe, and now not be so concerned about Friday’s procedure.

We came back to Lindsay’s and she made me two of the most amazing tacos I have every eaten. Every mouthful was a cause to celebrate. After not using my lungs effectively the past couple of days, I had to make a conscious effort to taking deep breaths. Feels so good to breathe! Even though Shannon drives 120 miles each way to work, he made time to come see me for a few minutes last night. He has to keep the house and critters taken care of on top of his job and crazy commute.

Today Lindsay is already gone running. She is training for a half marathon that is scheduled for Feb 6. She will be running 9 miles this morning. Then she has a hair appointment at 10 and I have an appointment with my primary doctor for a basic pre-op physical at 11am. Then we are free for the rest of the day.

I have been thinking a lot about my hair. Due to the type of chemo I will be getting it is almost certain I will be a cue ball for the months of chemo. I have not had short hair for 30 years. But I am thinking that it is time to at least cut it short in preparation. I can donate my hair to Locks for Love, who makes wigs for cancer patients. That feels good. But my hair is so much of how I identify myself. It seems so silly with all the other things going on to even give it a second thought, but it is a loss. Lindsay said there are sites on the web where we can put a picture of me and then virtually try on different hairstyles. I think we will be doing that this afternoon. Perhaps if I can gradually, over this next week, get used to the idea, I can get it done before the big surgery at UCI that is scheduled for next Friday 01/21/11. It would be easier to care for in the hospital and after, and since 4-6 weeks later I’ll be starting chemo and it will all come out anyway I may as well get it over with. It feels like I will be shedding skin. I think that is what this experience is here to teach me. That I need to let go of the past me and embrace the new me. That includes lifestyle changes and sense of self. I see it as a metamorphosis. Leaving my, up to now, unconscious life…running here and there, feeling responsible for that which is not my responsibility, taking on more than is realistic, and neglecting my physical and spiritual self, and instead entering into a life that is calmer, simpler, and more balanced. Taking time to enjoy each bite of food and each breath of air and enjoying just being. I read somewhere that we are human beings, not human doings. I am looking forward to the being side, however I know I will have to have some time to grieve the doing side. Then I will be able to find a comfortable balance in the middle.

Shannon has tomorrow off from work, so Lindsay will take me home this eveing. He will take me to a chiropractic appointment tomorrow at 10. From all the sitting and abdominal swelling I have a couple of vertebre that are needing to be adjusted. After that we will head over to outpatient surgery at 12:30. The porta-cath surgery will start about 2:30 and it takes about an hour. Then Shannon will bring me back home.

Thank you for sharing this journey with me. As I write this, I think of all of my friends and family, not to mention their friends and family, who are with me in spirit. The support and encouragement means so much and brings such comfort.

Hugs to you all!

  

Tuesday 01/11/11 Cont

Had the PET scan, a chest x-ray, and EKG today.

I'm staying at Lindsay's house as the ride back and forth on the dirt roads is difficult. Taking it easy tonight. Tomorrow I have an acupuncturist appointment and also a consultation with the surgeon who will do the porta-cath.

Hugs to you all.

Tuesday 01/11/11

I wanted to create this blog after I was diagnosed with cancer at the end of a 3 day hospital stay that ended 12/23/10. After lots of scans and procedures they can find no mass or tumor. However I have ascites (fluid in the abdomen) that accumulates, and out of that fluid was found the cancer cells. I was so amazed at the outpouring of love and support from so many friends that I thought this would be a good way to keep people updated, at their convenience.

I saw Dr. Berman at the University of Irvine Medical Center yesterday and he will be scheduling surgery for, at the latest, next week. He will do a complete hysterectomy and look around to see if he can find the primary site.

Today I have a PET scan as well as a pre-op EKG and blood work.

My daughter, Lindsay (who is an ICU nurse), has taken family leave so she has been with me every step of the way. I am so grateful for her. I just do not know how people who are sick and alone navigate this medical and insurance maze. Shannon has had to do double duty and take care of all the critters and me even after driving 120 miles each way to work. I am very fortunate. After almost 2 years of unemployment, my son Wes, has been working the past couple of weeks as a Journeyman Electrician. It's good for him to keep busy and make some money at the same time.

I will try to update this regularly to keep everyone in the loop.

Thank all of you for your support, love, prayers, and positive energy. Hugs! Dar