Sunday 01/30/11

I was able to get out of bed twice, once at 3am and once at 6am all by myself. Yesterday morning I had to text Lindsay to help me to sit up. So more progress. I had not taken any of my meds yesterday morning and around 10am I had a major panic attack. I was freezing, had no appetite, and was in pain. I felt this overwhelming sense of fear, panic, and non-generalized anxiety. I was crying and could not pin point any specific cause. Lindsay was so amazing. She got me up and put the walker in front of me. I stood at the door crying, not knowing why. As soon as I got outside the breeze and sun washed away the panic. We walked around her driveway about 3-4 times. By the time we were done I was calm and collected. It really brought home the necessity of keeping up with the meds. I took them at the correct times all day and felt great. It is still painful to get up and down but at least I can do it independently.

Shannon came over yesterday and brought me an electric blanket for the living room so I can stay warm. He also brought a bunch of other stuff for my comfort. He is such an amazing husband. He has his own health issues and is in pain a lot himself, but he never hesitates to do what he can to make me more comfortable. Such love and devotion. I am constantly reminded how fortunate I am to have such caring, loving, and compassionate friends and family.

I go tomorrow to have the staples removed. I look like I have a zipper on my abdomen. Then on Thursday I have an appointment with the oncologist to get treatment scheduled. Probably won’t start chemo for a few weeks to give the surgery time to heal.

Today I spent watching tv and napping. Lindsay had grocery shopping to do so I watched old “I Dream of Jeannie” and “Bewitched”. I have not just sat and watched tv like that in years. It is good for me to not have pressing things to do.  Lindsay and I watched ‘UP’ and “Despicable Me” this evening.

Lindsay made tacos for dinner and I was able to eat two of them. That was the biggest dinner I’ve had since the surgery. They were so good!

I am not ready for visitors as yet. I so appreciate the emails and blog comments but I need a couple more weeks to heal from the surgery before I feel like I’ll have the energy for actual visits. Every day is better than the day before and I think in a couple of weeks I’ll be ready. I’ll keep you updated.

Hugs to you all and again, thank you for all the support and encouragement.

Dar