Tuesday 02/08/11

Yesterday Lindsay took me to the oncologist to get blood work. The porta-cath is supposed to be a much easier access to getting blood out and putting medicine in. Even with that, it took two nurses to get mine going and two sticks. It feels like what I would imagine a bee sting would feel like. Each one of these new experiences brings a sense of fear and loss of control. But I know in my head that these things are needed to keep me going. My amygdala goes into hyper drive and my limbic system takes control. It is not a good place to be. So I need to meditate more and listen to positive affirmations to push the fear laden thoughts to the back of my mind. Each improvement in my health brings me closer to feeling up to the challenges to come.

After the oncologist, we drove down to UCI for a post op checkup. The biggest issue was that my legs and feet were so swollen I could barely bend my knees and it felt like I was walking on tree trunks. Hard to get dressed independently. The doc prescribed Lasix and potassium, and to keep my legs elevated. One of the reasons for the swelling was because my Albumin level was 1.9. It is supposed to be around 4.0. That all has to do with diet. I have been careful not to eat much meat because I thought it would be harder to digest, but the doc said I need to eat more meat. (Sorry Cheryl). I also have not been eating much, partly because of not much appetite, and partially because I did not want to overload my digestive system. So last night I had half a meat and cheese burrito and then put two pillows under my knees and legs. I was amazed this morning when I woke up and felt my calves jiggling. My legs and feet are half the size they were yesterday and I haven’t even started the Lasix yet. Today I plan to spend a lot of the day with my legs elevated. Hopefully by the weekend they will be back to normal again.

I’m going to try to clean up the mail that has accumulated on the dining room table today and little by little work through the clutter that has mushroomed. One step a day.

Thank you all for keeping me in your thoughts.

Hugs, Dar